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defamation - ex and my kids

(9 Posts)
aokay Tue 06-Nov-12 23:05:55

Hi - my ex is telling everyone inc my children he left becase I am insane - my children are little and now v.confused. I know that people at school etc will have heard as realise x will be busy defaming me to all and sundry - already have it written in contact order that we are both forbidden 'defamation' - I havent done it to him and dont.
I am extremely upset he is putting this kind of pressure on my kids by badmouthing me, also I am fed up he can wander round making up lies to cover up his own appalling behaviour- have legal issues on goinmg- solicitor sucks teeth when I tell her but no real response - is there any way I can shut him up and get an apology - it is completely out of hand - what he is alleging is probably the most serious form of mental illness and were it true I could not possibly cope without heavy drugs and lots of help - none of which I need or get. help anyone please as can do without headfuck while caring for small dcs and coping financially etc. Our relationship was over 10 yrs and no incidents of illness etc so nothing but allegations/lies from him but still doing enormous damage - mostly to his own dcs

Lovingfreedom Tue 06-Nov-12 23:48:22

Although this is really hurtful of your ex and totally out of order....try not to let it get to you. Remember most people are not interested in getting between a married/separating couple. Maintain your composure and people will conclude 'well she seems perfectly normal and sane to me'. This goes for your DC too...they will not fall for your ex's lies..not permanently anyway once they see that you are still the perfectly well adjusted and loveable mother they have always known you to be.

4aminsomniac Wed 07-Nov-12 06:45:01

Most people when they hear this from a seperating person will think 'yeah.... , he's bitter' rather than that you are actually insane!

It says far more about him than about you, just hold your head high and carry on as normal. Tell your children that Daddy is upset, and people sometimes say things they don't mean when they are upset.

peppapigpants Wed 07-Nov-12 06:48:24

Ask him to stop and put it in writing...then, when he continues, you can report him to the police.

addictedtolatte Wed 07-Nov-12 07:02:58

your children will make there own mind up about this man when there old enough. am going exactly the same thing at the moment. i just try to be the bigger person and not rise it. people will already have formed there own opinion of you. people who bad mouth never make the victim look stupid just themselves.

CogitoErgoSometimes Wed 07-Nov-12 07:29:30

I'd suggest getting a solicitor that doesn't suck their teeth but takes you seriously. When he tells the children that you are 'insane', doesn't that fall under the heading of damaging their relationship with you and, by extension, damaging them? I would be using that as a reason to limit contact...

Longtalljosie Wed 07-Nov-12 07:57:06

Rather than just telling your solicitor about it, ask him/ her what can be done about it. Suing for slander is expensive, but a solicitor's letter isn't.

aokay Mon 12-Nov-12 20:51:24

thanks for replies - yes agree it makes him look awful and not as bothered about wider 'public' as about our dcs who I am afraid will be damaged by this. Think writing to him a good idea just to flag that I know what's going on and maybe give him pause - will pursue with solicitor as well although chances of me limiting contact not great I'd say....think this is going to carry on for years and the prospect is exhausting and demoralising.

CogitoErgoSometimes Mon 12-Nov-12 20:52:58

You're not thinking of writing to him are you? The solicitor should do the writing....

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