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Set him free and if he comes back I'll know?

(11 Posts)
RedinWhites Sun 04-Nov-12 15:38:35

I've just been sat evaluating my relationship with boyfriend of 6 months and I've come to the conclusion that it's me that makes all the effort. It's me that chases up dates, me that chases up plans, me that arranges him staying at my house - I'm just wondering what will happen if I stop. So I'm going to stop arranging anything or asking him when he's coming etc. If he doesn't make the effort to keep it going, I'll know won't I? sad Am I doing the right thing?

akaemmafrost Sun 04-Nov-12 15:43:20

Yes, you are. Doesn't mean he doesn't like you necessarily just that he's a lazy so and so. I had one like this, I stopped arranging stuff and he did pick it up to be fair. We didn't last for other reasons but we had a good time while it lasted.

mutny Sun 04-Nov-12 15:47:17

Or you could discuss it.

RedinWhites Sun 04-Nov-12 15:55:30

I have tried discussing it, he says he doesn't want to push me or pressure me but I'm starting to think this is bullshit. He knows how I feel, he knows I want to see him - doesn't take a genius to work out that I'd react favorably to him wanting to see me.

mutny Sun 04-Nov-12 16:01:47

well then he sounds like he is indeed talking bullshit.
Honestly if I were you I would just be letting him go. I would forget about the coming back part.

Do you really want a relationship where you have to keep playing this sort of game?

pictish Sun 04-Nov-12 16:03:38

You are doing the right thing, yes. It's no good being the only one who does the running, so wait it out and see what happens. I agree.

pictish Sun 04-Nov-12 16:04:52

I wouldn't be expecting him to step up to the mark btw - but it would leave with a totally clear conscience to ditch his indifferent arse.

WhoNickedMyName Sun 04-Nov-12 17:46:17

You are doing the right thing.

What I'd actually do is dump him... But if you want to 'test him' first, then yes, I would totally stop arranging anything and stop even being the first one to text. I'd give it 7 days then dump.

MolotovBomb Sun 04-Nov-12 19:32:20

I'd talk to him about it. Some people make things happen (you, in this case), whilst others follow (him). You could try not calling him, but I suspect that you might get hurt by doing this. Unless he acts as you'd like him to, you'll be disappointed IYSWIM. That's why I think talking is best, rather than playing a game.

WineGoggles Sun 04-Nov-12 19:57:21

Sounds to me like the two of you are on totally different wavelengths and his style clashes with yours. In other words, you're not really that well suited.

plumedematante Sun 04-Nov-12 20:07:14


Is this 'you' again?

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