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Advice appreciated. (Essay alert)

(17 Posts)
Missdee76 Fri 02-Nov-12 06:58:31

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

raskolnikov Fri 02-Nov-12 07:07:55

Miss - He sounds as if he's just taking what he can get as often as possible and I think you're right to back off. What about what you need in terms of support and love etc? What does he do for you? Its all very well to feel loved up and needed but you don't need another child to look after, you need a man who cares about your wellbeing and who puts you first. He's trying to manipulate you and you're doing the right thing to think very carefully about how you proceed from here on.

CogitoErgoSparklers Fri 02-Nov-12 07:11:14

You got it in one when you said you're his convenience... he's using you. Good for some nice food, a shag and a warm bed for the night. Cheaper than a hotel because he doesn't have to contribute financially. Not good enough to take out for the evening... just wants to be round yours? Doesn't say 'ILY' because that's not the name of the game. You're just 'Handy Mandy', expected to put out and be grateful. Wouldn't be surprised if there's someone just like you on the other side of town for the nights when you're not free.

I think the problem is that, after moving to be closer to him, you're too reliant upon him for a social life. Would suggest you expand your social circle, make new friends and get into activities locally so that you're not just sitting by the phone waiting for him to book you for the evening. From now on, you're busy.....

pictish Fri 02-Nov-12 07:11:29

Well I think it's a no-goer quite frankly. He's using you like a facility.

Missdee76 Fri 02-Nov-12 07:30:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Missdee76 Fri 02-Nov-12 07:33:11

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pictish Fri 02-Nov-12 07:36:15

This guy has no respect for you - he just views you as convenient.

You should totally move away again, and get shot of him. Let some other poor gimp suck his cock and cook his dinner for fuck all in return. You can bet he'll find one quickly enough.

raskolnikov Fri 02-Nov-12 07:36:35

You've got it - its about your self-worth. Moving 18 miles away is a good idea - develop a circle of friends and make a life for yourself that doesn't revolve around him. If he pulls himself together and starts making an effort then you can have a rethink about the relationship. If he keeps dragging you down you'll know its a no-go.

You will find someone else. When you're feeling strong and confident and in a happy place in your life, someone will come along who will make it even better.

CogitoErgoSparklers Fri 02-Nov-12 07:36:53

If you live in a fairy tale, expect it to be Grimm.....

Seriously. Put down the romantic novels and stop watching the chick-flicks. Real life is full of far more big bad wolves than it is handsome princes. You may want this relationship to work but he just sees you as a convenient place to park his dick from time to time. Never heard anything as tight-arsed as insisting on a three-way split on food shops. Move back to your home town, make new friends, change your phone number and.... .and I mean this very, very sincerely..... I hope you DON'T meet someone like that again. I hope you meet someone far more genuine.

Strawhatpirate Fri 02-Nov-12 07:40:36

He is a cocklodger. Please get rid of him.

Missdee76 Fri 02-Nov-12 15:15:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ClippedPhoenix Fri 02-Nov-12 15:49:53

That's fine OP but why do you want to be with this arse? He'll go back to using you again at the drop of a hat, he's just reeling you back in.

Strawhatpirate Fri 02-Nov-12 16:39:53

He's changed tactics because he's worried about getting kicked out of the cosy little nest you've made for him. Don't let him fool you.

RabidCarrot Fri 02-Nov-12 16:55:26


AnyFucker Fri 02-Nov-12 16:59:24

Stop being a mug.

He's using you

He is starting to be nice because he senses he might have just wiped his foot on the doormat once too often

I hope you kick him into touch for must have more self respect than this, surely ?

OneMoreGo Fri 02-Nov-12 17:03:41

He's an arse. You know this.

He will behave well to reel you back in and then it will be same old, same old. You know this also.

I think it would be a really great idea to move back to your hometown and just concentrate on YOU. maybe consider getting some counselling or read some self help books to help you with your low self esteem. But I would seriously get shot of this one, because he never cared from the off and he is, as others have already said, just using you. No contact is the way to go. As for the voice in your head that whispers 'I will never find someone else... no-one else would ever want me' that's bullshit and you should tell it so. Of course you will attract others into your life! Unfortunately, unless you improve your self esteem as an urgent priority, you will probably keep ending up with twunts like this. So bear that in mind smile But yes, you WILL have someone amazing and be happy one day. Of course you will.

Missdee76 Fri 02-Nov-12 22:13:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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