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please help me

(3 Posts)
OfficialFlyingSquirrel Thu 01-Nov-12 12:45:46

Hello. Bit of background:
I have the loveliest boyfriend who has stuck around through a lot of sh1t. I have MH problems (extreme paranoia) and he has struggled but never left. I've been so happy since I moved in with him, my moods started to stabilise and we started trying for kids a couple of months ago. He was really happy when I got pregnant (although it turned out to be a chemical pregnancy), and is hoping I'll get pregnant again soon.
But I am going through one of my 'phases' at present and although I am trying to remind myself of all the good things, my brain is on a non-trusting mission. And I need to get out of that spiral before I almost wreck my relationship again. I don't want to mention again to him my feelings, as he gets hurt when I don't trust him.
Please help me rationalise. If he wanted to leave, he would leave. If he wanted someone else, he would be with someone else. After all the crap we've been through, he has still stuck around. And thats a good thing, right? smile

CogitoErgoSparklers Thu 01-Nov-12 14:17:14

I find it's best to take things on face value unless there is something to indicate otherwise. If you have MH problems you should be able to talk about it with this 'lovely boyfriend' without him taking it personally and getting hurt. Obviously, he's not a doctor or a therapist so, if you are going through a bad episode and need treatment, seek treatment. But there shouldn't be any no-go areas in a healthy relationship.

honeysmummy1 Thu 01-Nov-12 21:48:46

It sounds like you have been hurt in the past, are you afraid of being hurt again?
Ive been there too I know what you are going through.
He is with you because he loves you, he has put up with your distrust because he loves you...but for how long? Would you like if your boyfriend told you that he didnt trust you? would you like it if he showed he was paranoid all the time even though you knew he had nothing to be paranoid would start to get to you and in the end you would want to be with someone who did trust you.
If your paranoia gets any worse I would see your gp about getting a councelling session or two organised, it will really help to understand where your paranoia is coming from and letting everything off your chest without upsetting your boyfriend. just a thought.

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