My partner is constantly coming up with bright ideas regarding us/our future which then tend to disapear into oblivion within hours of him talking about them. A few months ago he mentioned that he would like us to trial living together - I agreed and suggested he spend a few nights at my house a week, he agreed. Now, whenever I suggest him sleeping over he either makes an excuse or reluctantly agrees to it. I asked him again if he still wants to trial living together and he says "it's a bit soon, lets just see how it goes?" - wtf?? it was HIS idea!! then a few weeks later he'll mention us living together again.
Another one was his idea of booking a few days away in Milan - he came up with the idea, got me all excited about it, briefly looked into it and then forgot about it. When I brought it up again he acted like I'm always pressuring him!!
Christmas - he hinted and hinted about spending Christmas together, when I asked him, he said yes, of course he'd like to spend christmas here with me and the kids. Great I think, my first family christmas for years!! a few weeks later I mention it again and he umms and arrs and says "err yeah, suppose I could spend it there, not sure what else I'm doing though so will have to check" wtf??
Halloween - he suggested we take the kids to York maze - I agreed. As it approached halloween I mention it again and he says "oh yeah, errr might be a bit much of a faff?"
Bonfire night - we were supposed to be going to a big display, had it planned for ages. Last night he says "oh, didn't realise we'd planned anything for bonfire night, I don't normally bother with it to be honest - but we can go if you want?" again I'd made to feel like I'm FORCING him to do stuff.
The big one that is pissing me off though, is that HE came up with the idea of going to New York next year. We talked it through, looked up prices, hotels, flights - EVERYTHING - he mentions it a few times, I ask him a few times if he really wants to go - he assures me he does and that he's all excited about it - and then nothing. No mention of it for weeks. I didn't want to bring it up as I hate this feeling that I'm pressuring him all the time but I really do need to know as I need to book time off work so I mention it to him - he says "oh yeah, I'll look into it when I have time". I'm like "well, we were supposed to be flying in March - it's November now, we're cutting it a bit fine?" and again he makes out that I'm pressuring him and forcing him into things. It was his fucking idea.
I'm sick of it. I feel like everything he says I have to take with a pinch of salt and it's getting to the point where I don't look forward to anything anymore in case it doesn't happen.
But them some stuff he does pull off - a weekend away in Ireland for instance, he mentioned briefly, I agreed (thinking yeah whatever, like that will happen) and next thing I know, he's booked the flights.
So it's not like I can just dismiss EVERYTHING he says but it is the majority of big stuff that I look forward to and then get let down on and to make it worse, I'm made out to be the bad guy/bunny boiler.
How long have you been with him? Could it be that he is saying these things to impress you but, in reality, he hasn't got the finances to make them a reality? Is he just thinking out loud? Is he lazy? Is he a day dreamer?
He's a bullshitter... all talk. Might be just about tolerable if he didn't then go on to blame you for holding him to his promises. As he tries to make you out to be the bad guy.... ditch. He's not really a partner, is he?
sounds like he likes to day dream a bit, gets all excited in the moment and then it fizzles out...you must be so annoyed with it all probably best he doesnt move in yet anyway if hes going to let you down all the time, or worse the kids! i would just explain to him next time he does it that your fed up of him not seeing things through and it feels like you cant look forward to something or make proper plans as you dont know if hes gonna go through with it... maybe he will buck his ideas up if he knows your getting peeved off with him
Have you posted about this before? If so, can't you bump up your old thread with the identical situation/info so people have a clearer picture? There's no need to start a new one if it is you - you'll only get the same answers as before.