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Is this a strange reaction?

(17 Posts)
scentednappyhag Wed 31-Oct-12 15:08:59

Sorry, this is probably going to be the most boring thread start in the world, but I don't trust my judgement in these things anymore.
I asked DH what time he started work, as he works permanent nights but different shifts.
He said he didn't remember so would have to go in for the earliest shift.
I said that seemed like a strange way for it to work, couldn't he call his boss or something.
He got really annoyed and asked what I was accusing him of.
Is this a weird reaction on his part? Or should I just not h e bothered asking?
He's just brought me a cup of tea while I've been writing this, and is pretending his blowing up never happened. I feel confused.

Yes it does seem odd. But you know him better than us. It does sound like he kind of thing my dh would o (the plan, not the blowing up) but what are you thinking?

scentednappyhag Wed 31-Oct-12 15:15:45

I wasn't thinking anything to start with, just wanted to know if he'd be eating at home or not.
His reaction just seemed totally disproportionate to what I'd asked and I wanted to make sure I wasn't going mad sad

amverytired Wed 31-Oct-12 15:17:10

Yes, it sounds like a strange reaction to something very small.

Why would he spend extra (unpaid?) time at work if he didn't have to?

dequoisagitil Wed 31-Oct-12 17:14:12


TessCowDirect Wed 31-Oct-12 17:27:02

Very odd.

Does he usually forget what shift he is on?

SoleSource Wed 31-Oct-12 17:28:28

Mighg be odd if your reaction is a one off or not so odd if you are accusing him of things.

snooter Wed 31-Oct-12 17:32:22

I'd assume that he knows exactly which shift he's doing but has other plans for the rest of the time that he doesn't want you to know about. These other plans could be perfectly innocent of course.

SoleSource Wed 31-Oct-12 17:43:00

Is there somebody at work to answer his call and check the rota? I worked shifts and a couple of times would forget what time I started and would go in to ask then shop or cafe. The guy was alone and couldn't answer the phone.

Hmmm does he do this often?

Has he got a present to buy for ypur Birthday etc

ImperialBlether Wed 31-Oct-12 20:16:46

In my opinion, everyone remembers when they should be at work, even if that's only because they remember when they are free of it.

It sounds to me as though he is going somewhere before work.

SoleSource Wed 31-Oct-12 20:57:07

Depends Imperial. In my case shifts would change. As it was rare I would be in a routine and the unusual hours would slip my.mind. Especially as I never discussed the other shifts avsilable. Also rotas can change very quickly and after a 15 hour day one can easily forget.

carefulobserver Wed 31-Oct-12 20:59:47

I work changing shifts that have no particular pattern and regularly forget my shifts/forget to write them down or lose the bit of paper I wrote them down on. I have, on occasion gone in earlier than I thought I had to, as getting in touch with someone that can tell you the right info can be risky (if they get it wrong over the phone there is no written record and I can get in trouble - also sometimes it's just hard to get hold of someone who has the info to hand). His reaction to the question was strange though, I can't really explain that although I'm quite calm in temperament generally while some people just aren't.

hmmmmreally Wed 31-Oct-12 21:26:35

Ahhhh yes< but what we have to remember here is, however odd his behaviour seems, he is a man, and well, come on lets be honest, they are rather odd.

BertieBotts Wed 31-Oct-12 21:29:03

I quite often forget what time I'm meant to be in work and either call in to check or just turn up at the earlier time, then they either sign me in and pay me for the extra 2 hours or I just go and get a coffee or look round the shops til I am due in.

I don't think it was a weird question, though. I think his reaction was a bit odd, if someone asked me that I wouldn't assume they were accusing me of anything? It seems strange that he assumed that, to me anyway.

NamingOfParts Wed 31-Oct-12 21:43:27

I asked DH about this (he works funny shifts sometimes) he asked if there was any possibility of work place bullying about shift starting going on?

His opinion is that some bosses are taking the michael at the moment so that employees are frightened. Employees doubt themselves so turn up early in case of being accused of being late.

DH has said that he is in the luxury position of not having to put food on the table or having to sort DCs as they are old enough to sort themselves. However others arent in that position and of course managers can always spot who can be bullied into turning up early or staying late.

Who wants to admit they are being bullied?

Alternatively working shifts makes people grumpy and miserable.

StuntGirl Thu 01-Nov-12 13:18:59

I have done this before too, not remembered if I was doing the open or the lunchtime shift, and not had anyone to ring to check due to the time. So in that circumstance I would go in early to be safe. Better to turn up early by mistake than late imo.

NatashaBee Thu 01-Nov-12 13:27:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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