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Give me some perspective! what would you call a boyfriend of just 3 months?

(14 Posts)
BurntPasta Tue 30-Oct-12 20:30:00

On a thread I started tonight, someone has said that they wouldn't call a boyfriend of 3 months a committed and serious relationship (or something to that effect). I have just been thinking that over and ... well it's weird how we can get so wrapped up in something and lose all perspective isn't it!!

Jesus, in my head I have had me and fancy man walking up the aisle and allsorts. Here's me panicking that he hasn't shown any interest in me meeting his family yet - it's been 3 months! or rather, 14 weeks to be precise.

I feel a bit of a twat really, I hadn't really thought about it before.

So just out of curiosity, what would you call a 3 month relationship and where would you expect a couple to be just 3 months in? We're spending half of the week together and texting daily - talking about a big holiday together next year.

FlaminNoraImPregnantPanda Tue 30-Oct-12 20:34:11

I think it very much depends on the individuals involved. My husband and I were more serious and committed after 3 months than my previous boyfriend and I were after 3 years.

TeaTeaLotsOfTea Tue 30-Oct-12 20:37:12

I agree with flamin.

TBF A boyfriend of 3 months wouldn't have met my son yet so I certainly wouldn't expect to be meeting his family.

I would only be more serious if they would still tolerate me at 6 months grin

OpheliaPayneAgain Tue 30-Oct-12 20:40:50

3 months dating is a boyfriend

Cohabiting is a partner.

Where to be after 3 months? depends on the relationship. like flaminnorah after 3 months we knew we were destined to be together. With other BFs, christ, I wouldnt have introduced them after 3 years to my parents grin

BurntPasta Tue 30-Oct-12 20:46:08

I see what you're saying. It's a strange one, I think I've fallen for him big time, I think about him constantly and he tells me he's the same - in fact he's gotten himself into trouble at work not concentrating in meetings because he's been thinking about me instead.
We are exclusive, we've had that discussion and we're both thinking long term in this. But I do have to keep reminding myself that it's only been 3/4 months (depends how you look at it!).

So - when does it become more than a 'new relationship'? 6 months? a year? I WANT to stop obsessing about him, I really do - because deep down I know that 3 months is fuck all really in terms of getting to know someone.

Fairylea Tue 30-Oct-12 20:49:00

You're overthinking it. smile

He's your boyfriend. It's naice. Enjoy!

Dh and I were planning living together and all sorts by 3-4 months. But my ex before him was still almost a stranger to me after 6 months dating in many ways.

OpheliaPayneAgain Tue 30-Oct-12 20:49:25

You're in the firstr flush of love - you're head is always full of sex and scenarios.

Assuming you both dont have any previous baggage to be careful about (I do mean children or pending divorces) and you are both reasonably youngish (I mean 20's) I would expect - if serious on both sides - that you would both be introduced to each others families by now.

monstermissy Tue 30-Oct-12 21:00:53

My ex has just moved 300 miles away to live with a women he has been seeing for 10 weeks, he has introduced the kids and they are going to live together forever. Now that's a little obsessive lol.

I would still very much want to be just dating still and certainly wouldn't introduce kids. Having said that the exs relationship seems to be working so far.

In conclusion.... Fuck knows smile

MerylStrop Tue 30-Oct-12 21:05:34

I'd expect (hope) to be seriously loved up and having lots of sex

I'd call him - to other people - my "friend" or my new boyfriend

My serious twenties relationship (ex) and I moved in together after 3 weeks and were together 7 years. But that really, really wasn't necessarily good or right or normal. Never met his family until 6 months, but they lived in 350 miles away.

MerylStrop Tue 30-Oct-12 21:06:59

I'd be hanging on the "newness" as much as possible......don't wish it away....maybe just live in the moment a bit more?

BurntPasta Thu 01-Nov-12 10:27:34

Thanks for the perspective!

We both do have baggage. We both have children to previous relationships and he has hang-ups over his divorce etc so it ain't all plain sailing. We have joked about the fact that had we both been in our early twenties with no kids - we'd be married with a white picket fence and a labrador by now grin

But no, I needed the perspective and it has helped to think about this whole thing rationally. And since I posted this, my head has calmed right down about the whole thing. We're having fun and it's been a great 3 months - that, at the moment is all it is really. I'd love us to go the distance but it's impossible to tell based on the 14 or so weeks we've known each other.

DawnOfTheDee Thu 01-Nov-12 10:32:00

Agree with flamin...it's down to the individuals involved.

Fwiw my parents got married within 5 months of meeting and have been married more than 30 years!

Badhairday21 Thu 01-Nov-12 10:40:37

Totally depends on individuals involved. I know one couple who got married after 3 months and are still very happily married, 30 years later.

My DP and I considered our relationship quite serious from the start, so he was definitely my boyfriend after 3 months and we took our first holiday together after 3 months. I think I met his parents when we had been together about 5 months and he met mine later as they live far away.

I have had other boyfriends when I was younger who I had been with for over a year and not met the parents.

All depends on the individual's involved as every relationship is different.

AlfalfaMum Thu 01-Nov-12 10:42:38

If I had to put a timescale on it, I would say a relationship is a 'new relationship' for at least a year.

You sound really happy. Just enjoy this stage and don't be in any rush to progress, this stage is the best really (no shared responsibilities/arguments about housework or money, swoon!) so drag it out as long as you can smile

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