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How long before you feel comfortable talking about 'anal' and such?

(226 Posts)
BurntPasta Tue 30-Oct-12 19:11:50

Been together about 3 and a half months. Known each other since April.
Started sleeping together two weeks into it. We have grown very close and done loads together other than sex obviously, we go out a lot and spend loads of time together. Especially lately as he's been sleeping at my house half the week.
Anyway - we've not broached the subject of anal but on a number of occasions, especially these past few weeks his hands have wandered around there but he's stopped short, once he was really drunk and went a little further than usual but I stopped him.

We've talked about loads of stuff, real personal stuff but we both seem too shy to actually bring this up!! Is that normal for just 3 months in?

SoleSource Tue 30-Oct-12 19:12:56


ISeeThreadPeople Tue 30-Oct-12 19:19:20

Personally, I'd be comfortable talking anal after about 75yrs.

Or after 75 minutes if the conversation went along the lines of "cold day in hell..."

Is it something you're wanting to do? It'll come up in time I'd imagine.

BobblyGussets Tue 30-Oct-12 19:22:43

grin @ ISeeThreadPeople "It'll come up in time I'd imagine".

It won't be for me <shuts arse>

vodkaanddietirnbru Tue 30-Oct-12 19:24:10

nothings getting near my bumhole either!

MamaMary Tue 30-Oct-12 19:24:45

Not for me thanks

kilmuir Tue 30-Oct-12 19:25:05

Never, exit only.
But depends how you fell, what you enjoy and are comfortable with

kilmuir Tue 30-Oct-12 19:25:29

Feel not fell

TomsBentPinky Tue 30-Oct-12 19:25:54

You've only be shagging 2 weeks?

Why not enjoy regular sex a while and get to know each others likes/dislikes before potting the brown??

monkeyfacegrace Tue 30-Oct-12 19:27:23

Yes its normal, why are you worrying? Do it if you want to, dont if you dont.

I hate anal, but thats just me.

except when Im really really drunk, then I beg DH for it hmm

BurntPasta Tue 30-Oct-12 19:28:25

No we've been shagging for about 3 months - two weeks into the relationship is what I meant lol

TomsBentPinky Tue 30-Oct-12 19:28:26

Ha Monkey, twice in my life I've been drunk and twice I've done the same?! Jeesh.

fluffyraggies Tue 30-Oct-12 19:28:49

No she's been with him 3 and a half months and started sleeping with him 2 weeks in.

I think if you want to discuss it then go for it OP. There's no rule book y'know smile

BobblyGussets Tue 30-Oct-12 19:28:56

Oh Tom, I've not heard that in ages, I'm trying not to chortle at "potting the brown" as DS (9yrs) will ask me what I am laughing at.

But yes, OP, get to know him first before meeting Captain Pugwash.

NettleTea Tue 30-Oct-12 19:29:05

well of course unless you 'fell' like those unfortunates who turn up in A&E!!

Not my thing either, tho according to rumour tis all the rage now as a normal part of the variety. I must be getting old. (I am.....)

TomsBentPinky Tue 30-Oct-12 19:29:07

Ah right, its all upto you isn't it.

fluffyraggies Tue 30-Oct-12 19:30:22

X posts. Do you want to then OP? And are too shy to tell him? Or too shy to tell him 'forget it buster'.

BadgersGhostlyRetreatWoo Tue 30-Oct-12 19:31:08

if it's something you like and want him to do then tell him - he'd probably be delighted

if you aren't interested then tell him so next time his hands wander...

<crosses legs and clenches>

Mintyy Tue 30-Oct-12 19:34:20

I feel sad that "discussing anal" is something that is felt to be inevitable in younger people today. It is all the result of porn you know. I have never "discussed anal" in my life, when I was more sexually active in my 20s and early 30s men simply didn't expect it as some holy grail of sexual experience. But that was before the internet and porn on the internet.

MadameJosephine Tue 30-Oct-12 19:36:34

My DP has broached the subject a couple of times with me, my reply is always the same - 'OK, your turn first though' grin

MamaMary Tue 30-Oct-12 19:37:38

I agree with Mintyy. It's a direct result of internet porn that you feel the need to discuss it and your bf probably feels the need to try it. It's ubiquitous in porn.

akaemmafrost Tue 30-Oct-12 19:39:25

I hate that the arse is now expected angry.

It's not supposed to go there! It just isn't! Is nothing to be left unviolated in the name of keeping up with the sexual times?

Its NOT enjoyable and it hurts. Let's put sometime up YOUR arse Mr I Expect Anal Because Porn Tells Me You Love It!


akaemmafrost Tue 30-Oct-12 19:40:06

Cross post mamamary.

MamaMary Tue 30-Oct-12 19:41:28

I actually feel as angry as you, akaemmafrost but wasn't brave enough to show it.

SoleSource Tue 30-Oct-12 19:43:08

Gay msn, how do you suppose tbey have sex? I never wstched/ read porn when I first invited my partner to try anal. Porn has not always been available and it may not be to your tastes but it is to others. It does not hurt me and is enjoyable.

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