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The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Blowing Away The Cobwebs, Brushing Up The Leaves, Whilst Travelling On The Battle Bus, To Our Own Sobrieties.

(1000 Posts)
Mouseface Mon 29-Oct-12 10:25:46

Hello I'm Mouse

Welcome to the Brave Babes Battle Bus, aka Gerald. It's a lovely place for drinkers, non-drinkers, wobblers and thinkers...... we're a really mixed bunch who all have one thing in common, alcohol.

Whether that be past or present, it can always be our future due to the nature of the beast.

Everyone can join this thread, the support is unconditional. And it is here for anyone who wants it, now or in a little while, there's always a spare seat or three!

Why not take a look at the journeys so far at the link below, it'll take you back through the last two (plus) years, and also I've posted a link to the very first thread....... the reason that we are all on the Bus in the first place smile



greeneyed Wed 31-Oct-12 21:28:44

Well done purple that's really brilliant!

dementedma Wed 31-Oct-12 21:28:49

Thanks green and well done for hanging in there. Yeah,considered lots of options. None feasible right now so just try and blank him out as ,much as possible. DS loves him and needs stability. I'll survive. Then one day, one day.....:-)

greeneyed Wed 31-Oct-12 21:34:33

one day... I am thinking of the scene in shawshank redemption on the beach doing up the boat - free at last.... I hope you can hold on to your dreams in the meantime, dig in and bear it.

aliasjoey Wed 31-Oct-12 22:08:44

purple yeah, diss... dissasoc.. disassoc, that's the word

I came on the real computer to be able to type properly, got side-tracked by a 35-page thread about cannibalism hmm and now too tired to respond to anybodys posts properly.

venus its lovely to see you back, I missed you

ma no doubt you have already considered therapy, but if not how about Relate. Not to fix your marriage - its obviously gone beyond that - but some strategies to make it through until you are finally able to escape.

kotinka Wed 31-Oct-12 22:34:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

greeneyed Wed 31-Oct-12 22:50:03

Joey I lost about two hours of my life to that last night and the follow up thread, is it still going? I can't check don't want to get sucked into that again!

helpyourself Thu 01-Nov-12 07:59:17

one day at a time
Stop projecting. Plan as much as you can, but stop worrying about the outcomes.
School holidays are quite a trigger for you, I think? They certainly were for me, but in reverse. confused I'd doggedly not drink when the dcs were off, and then hit it when they were back.
When can you get to a meeting? I'm stranded in NY and might have to drag DD along!

thurso1 Thu 01-Nov-12 08:50:07


It's a beautiful one here today, I'm meeting a friend for lunch by the sea, today, so I hope it stays like it!

Kotinka, "misery juice", I'm going to keep that one in my head, it's brilliant, not heard anyone say that before, but how true!

School holidays are a trigger for me, but mostly since I've had the holidays, but no children here to do things with!! Thinking, hmm I don't have to get up. or do anything tomorrow, so maybe a shedful a glass will be nice tonight!
So, this half term, I made myself a list of things to do, and am working through it. Sounds really sad, I know, but it's keeping off the misery juice grin (yes, I'll be using that for quite a while grin), and feeling brighter.
A day with a racking hangover, on your own, is just to horrible for words, all the anxiousness, regret, resolves, blah, blah. Not to say that I won't find myself back there sometime, but for today, I'm not. Thanks to all of you on the bus entirely, i don't think I say that often enough (mwah!!)

help how are you? Is there any chance of you getting home when you should? I've just had an email from "airbnb" and on their site, they are offering free accomodation for anyone who is stranded. Hope you're ok.

Ma my friend, I send you my love, I know how difficult it is for you, and that your children are your first thought. You are a strong and lovely lady, and you will get to that cottage one day.

Mouse I hope, hope that you are not in pain today,I can imagine you knocked yourself out helping at the party! Hope you had a lovely time, and that Nemo slept.

Saf It is very nervewracking, but they chose you, and at the moment, with so much competition for every job, you must have been phenomenal, you have your strategies for the first week, you will be great.

Venus I'm happy to see you too! I hope you taking a little bit of time to look after yourself, as well as everyone else. xxxx

Aargh, it's raining, and time for me to step away from the screen!!!!

Much love to all

P.s JWN how are you, my lady? xx

helpyourself Thu 01-Nov-12 10:16:46

thurso thank you so much. I've been up all night trying to find a hotel. We're delayed until Sunday, already extended in current hotel and I've spent all night checking the reception here for cancellations and searching in vain. I've sent 2 requests on airbnb, and could cry with near relief and exhaustion.

aliasjoey Thu 01-Nov-12 10:19:32

green I didn't read the original thread, but spent enough time on the follow up thread to get the gist. Its probably still going now...

my moods have worsened since I swapped from seroxat to mirtazapine. I've tried changing the dose <hides from saf> but I've done it sensibly this time; researched the side-effects, and am only doing what a gp would suggest anyway; doesn't seem to have helped but am determined not to keep stopping and starting, so will give it another few days.

Anxiety is my default mode - depression seems to be an added extra. How is it possible to suffer from both at the same time?

Greyhound Thu 01-Nov-12 10:27:05

Hi all - sorry to hear you're not too good, Mia.

I'm ok - drank too much on Tuesday night. Felt so guilty the next day sad Drank last night as well, but not too much. Off out tonight, there will definitely be drinking but not to excess as my friends are not complete pissheads like me moderate drinkers.

greeneyed Thu 01-Nov-12 12:30:17

Morning all - I will not drink today. Going to a big birthday bash in town on Saturday - I'm going to drive - knowing I am not going to drink is a big weight off my mind. I will avoid; not getting last bus home and spending 30 quid on taxi, making general fool of myself, inappropriate flirting, temptation to follow some of the herd into the loos for some chemical enhancement blush which would send my MH problems in stratesphere I very unlikely I'd do this but is a risk, very bad hangover, guilt at non activity with little one on Sunday etc etc all in the name of having a good time! I feel so much better knowing non of that will happen smile

PeppermintPasty Thu 01-Nov-12 14:01:58

Hello everyone, excuse the interruption, but can you help me? If I'm looking for information or support on here wrt living with someone who drinks, do I start a thread on its own (as I've seen a lot of people do), or is there another perma-thread that I've missed? Any ideas?


aliasjoey Thu 01-Nov-12 14:23:28

7 weeks

But I think will stop counting, as planning to visit friends and drink at the weekend. Need to plan this very carefully, and if I can't manage controlled drinking then its back on the bus.

swallowedAfly Thu 01-Nov-12 14:35:05

i haven't seen a permathread peppermint.

is there anything specific you want to ask? may help if you give details. by someone who drinks do you mean someone you think is an alcoholic?

still in sidecar here.

PeppermintPasty Thu 01-Nov-12 14:42:10

Thanks swallowedafly. Well, binge drinker really, and the negative effect on the family. I suppose I already know there's a problem, but it's getting the person in question to see and seek help. -I know there is no "getting" them to do it, and they have to do it themselves, but, erm, I don't want to rattle on and hijack.

I suspect I need to start a thread, I'm probably working up to it!! I just feel it's become a specific "issue" if you like, rather than a more general relationship thing, and I couldn't find anything on here (surprisingly). Thanks.

venusandmars Thu 01-Nov-12 15:32:52

Peppermint, I have seen quite a lot of threads where people have asked for help, and have got some very helpful advice from other people who are / have been in your situation.

I think you get the best help if you can be clear in your thread title e.g. Help, my partner is a binge drinker.

You should get some good advice on helping and protecting yourself and the rest of the family who are affected. Also have a a look at al-anon website and see if there is a group local to you, or someone you can talk to (link here

I think all of us on here know what a selfish thing this is that we do, and I really hope that your partner gets to a place where they can take responsibility, as you said already, it's not something you can do for them. Good luck.

venusandmars Thu 01-Nov-12 15:34:18

saf you'll climb out of the sidecar soon - you've done it before and I know that you have the internal resources to do it again. Take care xx

swallowedAfly Thu 01-Nov-12 15:41:36

thanks venus. i know i will. just a q of when. i'm in this limbo period at the minute and i think that's a big factor.

PeppermintPasty Thu 01-Nov-12 15:44:44

Thanks for the link. Good old MN, just posting a little old post on here has made me feel better. Time to do something I think


Mwahahahahahahahouseface Thu 01-Nov-12 20:09:44

Evening, tis me, Mouse

Peppermint - hello, I agree with venus re making sure that you are clear in your thread title and opening, that way, you'll get more advice on the relationship too and advice if others have been in your shoes IYSWIM? smile

Joey - 7 weeks? Bloody fantastic! You rock lady, you ROCK!! xx

Greeny - planning in advance, I like it! Driving is what I used, that and my meds for a little while, as my reason for not drinking if anyone asked. Now I just say no thanks if I'm offered a glass of wine if I'm not drinking!

Well, the Hallowe'en party was great! 20+ kids all hyped up and having a blast! I did the make up for them, and DD plus 4 friends. It was hard work bending and being stuck in a chair for a while but I got through it.

Nemo loved it after the initial shock of the noise levels, the screaming from the boys was way more than the girls, and of course, a restricted space wasn't so good but eventually, he came out of his shell. smile

Needless to say, my morphine has had a little bump up today, I tried to take Nemo out for a walk in his wheelchair earlier but had to cut it short, my back and hips hate the cold and damp and boy is it BOTH here tonight. Plus the moon is amazing, watch out, there's a real sense of 'spiritual, misty, woo' in the air tonight.

Ma - I have nothing to make it better....... xx

Thurso - so nice to see you back! I've missed you and your posts. I so get what you mean about the 'well, I've not got to be anywhere' school of thought re the drinking.....

I hope that you're okay and manage to fight the beast xx

Hello to everyone else, sorry not to namecheck everyone. I'm totally mentally and physically knackered and this post has taken an hour to clobber together. blush

Anyway, enough of my waffling, keep going Brave Babes xx

dementedma Thu 01-Nov-12 20:25:38

Things not good. The lid came off tonight and a lot has been said. There is nothing left but admitting it is hard. Don't know where we go from here. I don't care anymore

greeneyed Thu 01-Nov-12 20:36:13

Oh Ma thinking of you, hope you can both find a way forward to a happier life together or apart

Mwahahahahahahahouseface Thu 01-Nov-12 20:56:42

Ma - PM me if you want to get it all out and not in open. I don't mean that in a ' you can tell me but not the others way' I mean it in a I've been by your side from the start of our journey on this Bus xx

I've got to go..... Ma - stay SAFE! Stay in the house, stay in control. Please? xx

aliasjoey Thu 01-Nov-12 20:57:08

ma maybe it needed to be said, maybe there is a way of moving forward now things are out in the open. i woul recommend mediation if you can manage it, it can help ensure a split is as amicable as possible, especially where kids are involved. dont know what else to suggest really, but am thinking of you.

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