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The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Blowing Away The Cobwebs, Brushing Up The Leaves, Whilst Travelling On The Battle Bus, To Our Own Sobrieties.(1000 Posts)
Hello I'm Mouse
Welcome to the Brave Babes Battle Bus, aka Gerald. It's a lovely place for drinkers, non-drinkers, wobblers and thinkers...... we're a really mixed bunch who all have one thing in common, alcohol.
Whether that be past or present, it can always be our future due to the nature of the beast.
Everyone can join this thread, the support is unconditional. And it is here for anyone who wants it, now or in a little while, there's always a spare seat or three!
Why not take a look at the journeys so far at the link below, it'll take you back through the last two (plus) years, and also I've posted a link to the very first thread....... the reason that we are all on the Bus in the first place
FIRST EVER THREAD
" Bleeding has stopped and our brave little fighter wants to come home. Hoping for tomorrow but he's lost a lot of blood...will let you all know as and when. need to go.xx"
Soba, that's scary isn't it. Despite all intentions and progress blah blah you one day decide to go with the feeling. I've been reading back a bit and a few people have said this - that nobody wants 'one' drink.
'One' drink implies all those lovely adverts with swishy hair and glinting bottles, and civilised toasts to something or other; speed boats and swimming pools and sparkly glamour. But those adverts do nothing for me because that's not what I'm craving. What I want is to take the brakes off and drink fucking buckets of the stuff. My mind isn't role playing 'Lovely to see you, Quentin, DO have a canape', it's just going 'GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH'. Or 'Fuck It Up Yer Jumper' if I'm feeling particularly eloquent.
And I'm beginning to understand that whilst that is a very satisfying thing to do at the time, its satisfying in the same way that punching someone in the face for breathing in the queue behind you would be. Civilisation and so (in some theories any way) basic human happiness are built upon restraining your worst impulses. Just because this particular one has not been legislated against or even particularly punished by society doesn't mean I should not be adding it to the pile of Impulses That Are Very Wrong To Give In To.
Am on lunchbreak but couldn't resist a quick check in to see if there's any news on Nemo and yay, yay, yaaaaaaay seems like so far, so good
< breathes huge sigh of relief >
Just wanted to also say hi to new babes and returning babes and lurking babes and missing babes (SAF where are you? Everything ok?)
There is a lot of talk at the moment about giving up drinking. Or cutting back. Most of us think it's a sacrifice we have to make because our bodies or minds can't cope with alcohol.
But actually, what are we giving up? There are obviously more 'down' sides to drinking or we wouldn't have a problem and that's what we're giving up. All those things you don't like about it - how you behave when drunk, how ashamed you feel, the horrendous hangover, the constant thinking about it, the need to have it even when you don't want to, the inability to stop once you start - whatever your reason is, that's what you're giving up.
So I say we should celebrate it. It's not a sacrifice, it's fecking brilliant. I love sleeping well, I love waking refreshed and ready to face the day, I love holding my head up high, I love my healthy diet, I love having more cash to spend, I love everything about being sober.
All the babes who come on here to share their sober stories, say the same thing. Once you get into it, it's like getting a new life. It's wonderful. Grab it and run with it, I say
Anyway gotta go, see you later.
Okay, today's upside and downsides are:
Down - I've been crying a LOT since I stopped.
Up - my nose remains an appealingly small, cute lump of alabaster, instead of a red, swollen bulge.
Down - I'm filthy ill in any case, so not really feeling the health benefits of stopping smoking and drinking in one fell swoop.
Up - it actually rather helps to be giving up two things at once. I'm like the donkey between two equidistant bales of hay. If I want a drink, I just think 'ah, but wouldn't you like a cigarette right now?' and then I forget all about the drink and really want a fag. Vice versa, ad nauseam...
Sorry to ramble, but this thread feels a bit like my third bundle of hay, iykwim...
Thanks for the update re Nemo Ma, relieved to hear that things have improved for him.
Great news about Nemo
Lol at Leucan's nose an appealingly small, cute lump of alabaster and great post, nail hit right on the head. And thanks too Faire for putting a different slant on giving up.
leucan Quentin with the swishy hair? I think I know him! even though its only been a few days for you, you already have some great insights into the problem...
soma so glad to hear you're going back on the antabuse, it sounds like it really did the job for you
ma great news about nemo, I hopemouse and all the family are coping okay
That's the boy, Alias.
I'm not so sure about the 'already'. I'm forty now, I discovered the joys of alcohol (as in bucket of, not shiny martini advert) at about fourteen, so that's 26 years.
26 years is a long time to know it is not nice to be sick, to be shaky, to be rude to people, to be boring, to be unhappy, to turn down other opportunities, to be guilty, to be ashamed, to be selfish. None of these things I'm saying are a surprise to me after 26 years. The only surprise is that I appear to be listening.
couldn't get an appt with the same gp - so now I am seeing a 4th doctor in 3 months... am in such a panic that I will just be prescribed more ssris
I've been to the doctors: continue with mirtaz, prescribed short-term diazepam and have to go back next week.
and now I have to go to school because dd is claiming she's been bullied and I have to talk to the teacher
and we have bedbugs.
I came very close to buying wine and getting sloshed. I assume that would be a bad idea with diazepam? actually I quite like the idea of overdosing on something and then being taken care of by nice nurses.
How about a nice, nursey, mothery hug from me instead? Have a diazepam after you're back and sorted and pretend I'm stroking your hair?
thank you so much leucan
and how are you doing today? any cravings?
Cravings not so bad - the cravings for a cigarette are worse, actually. A lot of tears and a lot of rage. All quite bewildering. But as I've decided I'm not in charge of the decisions anymore - I just have to not drink, and not smoke, for the rest of the day - I'm just sort of letting it happen, iykwim.
And... this is very odd... I've actually just dug out my swimming costume which has been untouched in years. Due to various things (cough) I haven't been out in the evening for a very long time, and even then it was with my exP somewhere that involved drinking.
That's not to say I'll actually make it for a swim tonight, but feck me if this isn't closer to it than I've been for about a decade.
So are you back from school? How did it go?
(Sorry, forgot to pretend to be wearing a white uniform with a massive Hattie Jacques bosom) and SQUEEZE and pat pat...
back from school, its more a clash of personalities than actual bullying, but the teacher was very nice about it
kotinka thanks for the links! maybe we'll just get her a new bed, but am worried they're in the carpet....
feeling a bit calmer, thank god I didn't buy any wine
great posts all - some intersting chat on here at the mo.
I am celebrating the fact that DH and DS have gone to Liverpool unti SUNDAY! DD1 is in Spain and DD2 is out singing tonight so I HAVE THE HOUSE TO MYSELF! Tomorrow I am going to have a massage and see if I can persuade DD2 to
feck off go and visit a friend so I can have ANOTHER night to myself. its bliss. going to wrap Christmas pressies and do a stock take of where we are.
latest update from mouse is that nemo is feeling much brighter now. Go NEMO
sorry for being so shouty, I'm just excited at having the place to myself for a while.
<hastily fumigates bus in case alias has been in>
Nemo news just FANTASTIC! Thank you so much Ma for keeping us updated, really thankful and happy for that, and that you are going to do some relaxing tonight, you deserve it. Snorting a bit with the last comment, and if it's any solace Joey ds had them in his digs at Uni, pest control dug their way in and exterminated the lot one afternoon, he had little bites all down the bottom of his legs, so I think they were jumping up from the carpet, nothing left of the buggers now.
Leu the support is immeasurable here, and the empathy. That is the secret to getting control back, and nothing else works as well imo.
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