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Bit down- anyone got any words to cheer me up?

(6 Posts)
Tweet2tweet Mon 29-Oct-12 10:13:48

Since DS came along my DH and I quarrel a lot more. On my part it's mainly down to exhaustion. I have said some things in the heat of the moment that I am not proud of. So has he.
I am now expecting again. I have been so tired and really need to be in bed by 9pm. DH fidgets a lot in the night and often wakes me up which can sometimes cause me to say things at 1am like 'stop f***ing moving'. Not proud but it's the twilight temper syndrome.
Anyway, when clocks went back he came up quite late and then told me I was being ridiculous. Went on to fidget, move about etc. After being woken for the 5th time I shouted.
He is now not communicating with me, other than yes/no etc.
I'm too tired for this, it's really stressing me out. I've tried to explain that it's not good for me whilst pregnant but falls on flat ears. He tells me that I'm very difficult at the moment. I said I accepted that I have been short but I am full of hormones and need support.
The whole thing is really depressing me. I can't talk to my family about things as they are a big fat ZERO when it comes to anything to do with me. Belittle most of my issues or go on about their own. Am private so don't want to talk to friends and like the anonyminity of being able to post here.
I really do love him but am so scared and anxious about what might happen in the future.
I feel very lonely at the moment.

raskolnikov Mon 29-Oct-12 10:20:24

If its mainly night-time disturbances that are causing the problems, can he sleep somewhere else? spare room? sofa?

It sounds as if you both need to talk about it and find a sensible solution for the time being - maybe acknowledging you've said inappropriate things/apologising may be a good first move ...

Good luck

CogitoEerilySpooky Mon 29-Oct-12 10:25:06

Definitely.... talk in the cold light of day when you're both in a reasonable mood rather than waiting for night to fall and the inevitable fidgeting and tetchy response. Sulking isn't a very mature response so that has to stop, obviously. Could anyone take DS off your hands for a few hours so that you can catch up with a nap?

MyDonkeysAZombie Mon 29-Oct-12 11:00:38

You say it's kicked off since your first baby so I suspect the sleep part this time round is like the final straw. Was it an easy pregnancy first time round, did DH pitch in and help and have you managed okay between you with time and money?

Tweet2tweet Mon 29-Oct-12 11:30:46

DH does help out. However I am higher earner which I think sometimes causes issues. Not for me exactly but am not really able to ever bring this up in a healthy context as he gets irritated.
I think that he thinks 'normal' couples never quarrel. So goes to extremes and says things like 'only we have these problems'. I don't think that's true, but as I don't really talk with people about this not sure.
He once told me that he didn't want to have another child with me when he was irritated. That hurt and when I brought it up later he said he didn't mean it but it does keep haunting me.
I really do try my best but accept I'm not perfect. He's communting a couple of days a week for a temporary period which means I'm left to do everything for a bit. Don't mind at all but would be nice to get a bit of TLC for it!
It's just really horrible when someone chooses to ignore you and makes no attempt to explain or discuss other than say I'm difficult and hard to be around. He isn't perfect either but I always feel that I'm the one being told about my flaws. Beginning to chip away at my confidence.

MyDonkeysAZombie Mon 29-Oct-12 11:40:46

Don't show him this thread or let on you post but ten minutes reading this website would show him you are definitely not the only couple facing this.

Does he realise that plenty of people have problems but we don't always blurt it out and it sometimes seems like "everyone else" either breezes through life or just copes stoically, but it's a pretty juvenile thing to think, oh it's just us, nobody else struggles. Ditto sulking, how does that help, very adolescent.

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