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divorced in love with separated

(2 Posts)
friendlyanimal Mon 29-Oct-12 06:52:35

Having come through a divorce and feeling lonely and in need of male companionship, I went on a dating website. I met a man who really appealed to me, we have spent a lot of time together, have got emotionally and physically very close and intimate. He has brought me such happiness and joy. We have been close for just over 2 months. We have wonderful weekends together and usually see eachother at least once during the week. He has met my two grown up daughters (they do not live with me) and they like him a lot and are really relaxed with him. I have met his relatives who all say how compatible we are. To be honest, I am in love with him.....BUT (big but) from the start of the relationship he was completely honest that he is separated. He and his wife agreed to a "separate but together" relationship for the sake of the children; (it sounds really odd...) she lived in the family home with the children, he lived elsewhere and came for family events, Sundays etc. This situation existed for 10 years while the children (now 19 and 25) were growing up. The wife found someone else 5 years ago at which point she moved out of the marital home (abandoning their dds) and my guy moved back in. He loves his kids very much and is very supportive of them. He told me his wife says she wants a divorce and that she wants to move back in to the family house with her new partner. She tried to negotiate regarding finances but what she offered did not sound at all fair or realistic. The man I love says he has been advised to wait for her to initiate the divorce. He remains in residence at the house partly to stake his claim to the property and partly as he does not want to abandon his elder daughter (yes she is 25 but still a student and quite:immature dependant). Yesterday we had a huge blow up where I almost ended the relationship. I was (and continue to be) unhappy at the lack of progress (this will sound brutal) towards divorce and division of assets. My motivation is mostly because I would like our relationship to be a full cohabiting partnership and partly because I am not comfortable being with a man who is officially still married. He said he wants the divorce and would much rather be out of the house, which he described as a prison, but he seems adamant about taking a passive stance in the divorce and is not prepared to rush things. He is very "laid back" and seems able to let things take their course without getting too upset (although he has broken down in tears when we talked seriously) I am a very anxious type and tend to worry and over think things. I am also rather impetuous (hence both my marriage and my divorce :-( ) Am I over thinking? Am i being impatient? I really don't want to give up on him because I love him. Oh dear....... Good advice needed...

CogitoEerilySpooky Mon 29-Oct-12 07:26:24

Duplicate thread?

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