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Hot online dating diary entry 67yr old man

(10 Posts)
jaffacake2 Sun 28-Oct-12 21:07:13

Thought I would share this erotic writing from a man aged 67 on an online dating site I am on.

We met in a wood, the trees were sighing overhead in a gentle breeze. Sweet nothings murmured in sympathy as the leaves rustled all around.
I took her hand in my hand, removed a glove and reunited, skin on skin. Boots scuffed up undergrowth and twigs caught our hair as we ducked and dived through the wood. Nothing moved in the forest but ourselves, as the day drew to an end, arm in arm now for warmth and closeness. I wanted to be inside that long warm overcoat, hiding so much that was both intriguing absorbing and exciting. We shared views, likes and dislikes and were apprecitive of each other tastes; and then we turned towards each other face to face, I pulled her close and felt a rythme of her body in time with mine in closer embrace and one leg eased between my two, steadying us and holding us upright. We leant against a tree and the pressure mounted and the passion was suddenly released, it took us both by surprise. A kiss, at first tentative, finding the way to delicacy and subtllty was then met with responsivness and an ardent expression. The kisses found their way along the jaw bone to the nape of the neck and nuzzled there and then the teeth more closely found there way around to the earlobe.
We sank down; oh the sighing of the wind in the trees and underneath the soft leaves of autumn

Pretty good for an older man.I think he is a better writer than 50 shades of Grey.
What does anyone else think ?

AKissIsNotAContract Sun 28-Oct-12 21:08:30

Strange post, what does his age have to do with anything?

CaptainKirksNipples Sun 28-Oct-12 21:09:44


PelvicFloorClenchReminder Sun 28-Oct-12 21:10:47

Are 67 year olds not supposed to be able to write?

jaffacake2 Sun 28-Oct-12 21:11:35

I just thought I would mention his age because on the online dating thread there are so many negative comments about men over the age of 60
I thought it was good.

FringeEvent Sun 28-Oct-12 21:14:22

The spelling and grammar are pretty terrible, all the way through. If this is better writing than '50 Shades' I'm glad I haven't read it.

InvasionOfTheBodyShatners Sun 28-Oct-12 21:19:50

Ee, that's proper romantic twaddle.

jaffacake2 Sun 28-Oct-12 21:23:12

Sorry everyone I hold my head in shame for being a romantic old fool !!!smile

WineGoggles Tue 30-Oct-12 09:36:34

Let me finish where he left off - "We sank down; oh the sighing of the wind in the trees and underneath the soft leaves of autumn..."

...Finding a suitable log - one without a pile of badger shit nearby - I bent her over it, pulled her kecks to the side and let the sausage see the roll.
"Oh my god, you're so average sized, I mean big!"
"You love it doncha" I growled as I smacked her arse.
It's OK she thought but, stifling a yawn, decided a more diplomatic "yeah baby" was more appropriate.
I thought of pulling out really quick, flipping her over and jizzing on her face coz women really love it in the films I watch, but unfortunately I was let down again by my cock which was deflating rapidly. Damn you erectile dysfunction!

We walked back to the car in awkward silence...

CaptainKirksNipples Tue 30-Oct-12 11:17:32

Lol winegoggles. You have a talent grin

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