Need help

[McHappyPants2012]

My husband has accused me I'd cheating, I am shocked and very upset as I would never cheat on him.

I really don't know why he has come to this conclusion.

I just do not know how to move on from this, the trust has been broken and it feels like my world is crumbling around me.

We have 2 DC one who has austism, been together for 9 years and married 17 months:)

I don't want my marriage to fail, but how can I be with someone who can not trust me :(

[OpheliaPayneAgain]

He must have presented evidence when he made his accusations. Emails? Texts? Fb? Night out with the girls and someone saw you? Working late?

[McHappyPants2012]

There us No evidence as I have not cheated, I finish work at 2pm and then it is school runs ect. I can't remember the last time I went out

[cozietoesie]

No - what made him think you were cheating. He surely said?

[McHappyPants2012]

Only that I have been cold towards him

[izzyizin]

Have you posted about your h before?

[McHappyPants2012]

Not in a long time, the last time was when he was using the computer a lot, which till this day after the advice here has been a million time better

[Harecare]

Stop worrying. Nothing has broken he's just feeling a bit insecure that's all. Be objective for a minute and stop escalating the situation - you've cheated, you don't trust me, that's it blah. Go and make him a cup of tea and don't feel guilty about something you haven't done.

[McHappyPants2012]

I am just very hurt that he would think this

[HappyHalloweenMotherFucker]

some people project their own behaviour onto others, despite no evidence whatsoever

could this be happening here ?

[McHappyPants2012]

I don't think so, but it has entered my head

[NormaStanleyFletcher]

^^ what anyfucker said

[Anniegetyourgun]

Paranoia? Does he smoke weed at all?

[NormaStanleyFletcher]

Have you been cold towards him, or has he perhaps been withdrawing from you?

Or do you seem cold compared to someone who is telling him that he is the centre of their universe

Been there and done that with first husband

[HappyHalloweenMotherFucker]

my seasonal namechange is completely transparent then ?

[NormaStanleyFletcher]

It could be

[HappyHalloweenMotherFucker]

bugger

[rhondajean]

Ooh helloooooo any I was wondering where you'd been

( sorry op)

[NormaStanleyFletcher]

Sorry AF

Didn't mean to out you (though I thought it was blardy obvious)

[HappyHalloweenMotherFucker]

don't worry, I was only joking

I would choose a better name if I wanted to be incognito (and have...)

[HappyHalloweenMotherFucker]

[hgrin]

[McHappyPants2012]

my husband has never taken drugs. After a long talk last night we are slowly working on these thoughts.

He did say he has never cheated and i trust him

[CogitoEerilySpooky]

He's either incredibly insecure or he's trying to make you feel rattled, or both. Is this an isolated incident or does he make a habit of making you doubt yourself or feel less confident in the relationship? Bullying types will often throw in a curved ball as a way of keeping you on the back foot and anxious to please if they think you're enjoying life too much or becoming too independent. What makes him say you are 'cold' towards him?

[McHappyPants2012]

This is an isolated incident, and so out of the blue

[CogitoEerilySpooky]

So it's an attention-seeking ploy designed to get you to cleave to him by way of reassurance. Kids will pull 'you hate me' out of the bag to get a similar effect. Can you identify something that might justify this insecurity? Is he clingy generally?

[HappyHalloweenMotherFucker]

These things don't come "out of the blue"

there is a reason for it...you just don't know what it is yet