Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Need help

(38 Posts)
McHappyPants2012 Sun 28-Oct-12 20:34:19

My husband has accused me I'd cheating, I am shocked and very upset as I would never cheat on him.

I really don't know why he has come to this conclusion.

I just do not know how to move on from this, the trust has been broken and it feels like my world is crumbling around me.

We have 2 DC one who has austism, been together for 9 years and married 17 monthssmile

I don't want my marriage to fail, but how can I be with someone who can not trust me sad

OpheliaPayneAgain Sun 28-Oct-12 20:36:27

He must have presented evidence when he made his accusations. Emails? Texts? Fb? Night out with the girls and someone saw you? Working late?

McHappyPants2012 Sun 28-Oct-12 20:38:42

There us No evidence as I have not cheated, I finish work at 2pm and then it is school runs ect. I can't remember the last time I went out

cozietoesie Sun 28-Oct-12 20:39:41

No - what made him think you were cheating. He surely said?

McHappyPants2012 Sun 28-Oct-12 20:40:40

Only that I have been cold towards him

izzyizin Sun 28-Oct-12 20:47:46

Have you posted about your h before?

McHappyPants2012 Sun 28-Oct-12 20:51:33

Not in a long time, the last time was when he was using the computer a lot, which till this day after the advice here has been a million time better

Harecare Sun 28-Oct-12 20:54:33

Stop worrying. Nothing has broken he's just feeling a bit insecure that's all. Be objective for a minute and stop escalating the situation - you've cheated, you don't trust me, that's it blah. Go and make him a cup of tea and don't feel guilty about something you haven't done.

McHappyPants2012 Sun 28-Oct-12 22:12:12

I am just very hurt that he would think this

HappyHalloweenMotherFucker Sun 28-Oct-12 22:21:12

some people project their own behaviour onto others, despite no evidence whatsoever

could this be happening here ?

McHappyPants2012 Sun 28-Oct-12 22:27:55

I don't think so, but it has entered my head

NormaStanleyFletcher Sun 28-Oct-12 22:29:28

^^ what anyfucker said

Anniegetyourgun Sun 28-Oct-12 22:29:47

Paranoia? Does he smoke weed at all?

NormaStanleyFletcher Sun 28-Oct-12 22:31:29

Have you been cold towards him, or has he perhaps been withdrawing from you?

Or do you seem cold compared to someone who is telling him that he is the centre of their universe

Been there and done that with first husband

HappyHalloweenMotherFucker Sun 28-Oct-12 22:34:37

my seasonal namechange is completely transparent then ? smile

NormaStanleyFletcher Sun 28-Oct-12 23:23:52

It could be smile

HappyHalloweenMotherFucker Sun 28-Oct-12 23:26:19

bugger

rhondajean Sun 28-Oct-12 23:47:45

Ooh helloooooo any I was wondering where you'd been

( sorry op)

NormaStanleyFletcher Sun 28-Oct-12 23:49:26

Sorry AF blush

Didn't mean to out you (though I thought it was blardy obvious)

HappyHalloweenMotherFucker Sun 28-Oct-12 23:51:13

don't worry, I was only joking [fgrin]

I would choose a better name if I wanted to be incognito (and have...)

HappyHalloweenMotherFucker Sun 28-Oct-12 23:51:25

grin

McHappyPants2012 Mon 29-Oct-12 09:25:06

my husband has never taken drugs. After a long talk last night we are slowly working on these thoughts.

He did say he has never cheated and i trust him

CogitoEerilySpooky Mon 29-Oct-12 09:35:21

He's either incredibly insecure or he's trying to make you feel rattled, or both. Is this an isolated incident or does he make a habit of making you doubt yourself or feel less confident in the relationship? Bullying types will often throw in a curved ball as a way of keeping you on the back foot and anxious to please if they think you're enjoying life too much or becoming too independent. What makes him say you are 'cold' towards him?

McHappyPants2012 Mon 29-Oct-12 13:34:20

This is an isolated incident, and so out of the blue

CogitoEerilySpooky Mon 29-Oct-12 14:22:14

So it's an attention-seeking ploy designed to get you to cleave to him by way of reassurance. Kids will pull 'you hate me' out of the bag to get a similar effect. Can you identify something that might justify this insecurity? Is he clingy generally?

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now