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Hi need some advice, not sure which topic to put this under :(

(3 Posts)
Mama4412 Sat 27-Oct-12 20:12:01

Hi some off u have helped me before so prob know my story,recap my ex n the father of my son left me for his ex etc n has ended up goin to prison for a longtime! Well my sons birthday is next Friday and his family r askin wat im doin for his birthday! All thru the split his family have been awful to me, bitchin and makin me feel like iv stopped my ex seein our son etc (which I haven't I have wen gone to a solicitor to put visits in place but he doesnt bother an jut tells his family n gf that its me stoppin it) and now they r tryin to n all nice to me! I feel completely insulted but they r his family! Well the prob is that I'm havin a party at my house but my family wouldn't want th there cus of how badly they have been towards me and how little they have bothered with our son! Wat do I do? Do I tell them that they aren't welcome and take him to see them at their house? My mum would go mad at me if she knew I did that! But I couldn't handle the guilt If i didn't let them see him! I just need a but of advice or someone to give me a backbone lol I'm always lettin people walk all over me my son is 2 next week so he won't remember much but I will! I'm gutted he won't see his dad tho xxxx

FrequentFlyerRandomDent Sat 27-Oct-12 20:49:32

You are trying to please everyone. A hard place to be.

Someone wiser will come along.

I would be inclined to tell the truth, without getting into details of guests, etc and take back initiative to avoid arguments.

You have planned something small as he is very young still and would be overwhelmed by more people / action. However, it is great that they want to mark his birthday, how about Sat at X o'clock at place y?

Of course, work out what you want before offering time/ place.

My DCs have about four birthdays every time, one with ILs, one with my side, end when dad is here, one with school friends. They love it. More cake!

dequoisagitil Sat 27-Oct-12 21:14:24

I wouldn't invite these people to your house, nor go to theirs. They've treated you badly and you shouldn't make yourself vulnerable to them.

If they want to see your ds, and you want to let them have that opportunity, arrange to meet somewhere public with someone there to support you. Don't be alone to be browbeaten, should they get nasty.

Maybe a soft play place, something like that.

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