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How world you react?

(12 Posts)
OnlyWantsOne Sat 27-Oct-12 19:01:08

How would you feel / respond to your husband telling you that "you're fuckjng the kids up"

This was in ear shot of said kids, while I was doing a mountain of ironing - the only thing that happened prior to this was me getting really distracted & frustrated trying to placate 2yr old, help 6yr old do maths work book

OnlyWantsOne Sat 27-Oct-12 19:02:20

Btw I have a. 9 week old baby too. And have been diagnosed with sever anxiety and PN depression.

He's a supporting partner clearly hmm

TheDreadedFoosa Sat 27-Oct-12 19:05:46

Depends.
Not a nice thing to say of course, but does he believe it?

Only you can say whether he would say something so hurtful just to upset you.

But if its a genuine concern then him saying it is not what you need to be worrying about but the circumstances that lead to it.

arthriticfingers Sat 27-Oct-12 19:09:57

Might I suggest that your sever anxiety and PN depression might be caused by compounded by the proximity of a shitface unsupportive husband who is shouting abuse at you while you are looking after the children (including a toddler and a small baby) and doing the ironing?

OnlyWantsOne Sat 27-Oct-12 19:12:40

He's saying it, because I'm depressed. Because I'm not bounding around like a teenager shagging his brains out, because I get so frustrated that i am the only one who does any house work & today I've asked him to take some stuff to the loft etc

He's emotionally unavailable & unobservent to the extreme.

Last night I told him that the GP & HV have suggested I finish BF DD3 so I can start taking some anti depressants. His response "k"

OxfordBags Sat 27-Oct-12 19:22:23

Although this does not address the issues surrounding your thoughtless and unsupportive husband, you do not need to give up breastfeeding to take anti-depressants. There are plenty of sorts you can take and still BF. Also, if you have found BFing pleasant and a bonding experience, it would be unwise to give that up if you have PND. Of course, if you want to stop, that's another matter. I think, if your Dh is always like this, tablets are not going to stop you feeling anxious and depressed about his behaviour...

OxfordBags Sat 27-Oct-12 19:23:50

Sorry, posted too soon. I didn't mean that Anti-Ds would be pointless, far from it. I just mean that you need to sort things out with him as well as taking medication. Many women find their mental health problems lessen or disappear once they're not being treated like crap. Funny, that.

YerMaw1989 Sat 27-Oct-12 19:24:57

Oh dear I wouldn't react well.

When I read things like this I wonder how much of the depression is caused by living with someone like that.

OnlyWantsOne Sat 27-Oct-12 19:31:05

I feel like a house keeper and a nanny and I feel lonely. Really really lonely.

I certainly don't feel loved or even liked.

anxious80 Sat 27-Oct-12 20:06:31

That is just too nasty for words. You have a 9 week old, two other children and have PND. I too had bad PND and anxiety and still suffer from anxiety. I know how much these types of words hurt u especially when u r vulnerable. U don't deserve this at all.

Do u have a HV u can talk to? My ex told me I was useless and crap too when I was suffering with PND, and it's just not acceptable. He needs to know this.

My ex (who I took back and then he has left again) made me feel really on edge and panicy. Is he exaggerating yr condition?

Would he go to GP with you to try to understand what ur suffering from is not to be dismissed but is a serious condition?

Huge hugs, ur not alone x

cestlavielife Sat 27-Oct-12 20:11:47

stop the ironing for a start - creased sheets for next six months is not a big deal and if it is then use ironing service or have h do it.
he is being unsupportivwe . speak to hv can hv speak to him and explain pnd in simple language to him?

OnlyWantsOne Sat 27-Oct-12 21:16:04

I really need more support and I don't know how or where to approach it

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