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Should I just let this go considering we'd only known each other a few weeks at the time?

(9 Posts)
MrsTCrowley Thu 25-Oct-12 13:53:25

A bit of back story:

I met a guy on Plenty of Fish, we talked/texed/facebooked for ages and then finally met up at the end of July. We fell for one another instantly and from then on saw each other initially once a week, then twice a week and then sometimes a 3rd time too.

5 weeks in, I went on holiday to Turkey. The same weekend I left, he had planned a long weekend away with a mate.

He kept saying we'd miss each other terribly and he promised to text me and keep in touch. Well, 3 days into my holiday I'd not heard a thing from him (very odd as up until this point we'd text every day without fail). I sent him a few texts and got nothing back. By the Wednesday, I assumed we were no longer together and it kinda ruined my holiday to be honest, couldn't stop thinking about him.

Anyway, he eventually sent me a text, an odd drunken text saying he felt guilty and missed me so much. I asked why he felt guilty and he just said he felt guilty having fun without me being there with him and that he'd rather be with me.

So - moving on, I got home, we met up again, everything was hunky dory and we're now 3 months in to our relationship and seeing each other 4/5 times a week. We have a weekend away booked for December and a big holiday booked for next year. All sounds sweet right?

But - I recently stumbled across some pics on facebook of him on this weekend away back in August and on a number of pictures, it is obvious that the two blokes were accompanied by a number of women. One inparticular seems pretty close to him in the pics. Shots of them sitting head touching etc. They don't appear on HIS facebook page, just hers (they're facebook friends). I didn't mention it to him and decided to let it go, probably just mates ...

But then yesterday she posted happy birthday on his facebook wall and he said "oh that's just a lass I know from ages ago, we used to chat about music and stuff". So at worst he's lied (because from the info on facebook, they met on this weekend in july) and at best, he's chosen to not tell me about her being on this weekend away.

I'm torn between asking him about the pictures or just letting it go considering we'd only known each other for 5 weeks at the time and since then our relationship has been solid.

What do you reckon?

TheReturnOfBridezilla Thu 25-Oct-12 13:58:17

Bumping, something similar happened to me
and I still get irrationally angry about it sometimes even though we weren't technically "together" at the time.

CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 25-Oct-12 14:07:04

Ask him who she really is/was. There's often seems to be a grey area at the start of relationships these days where it's not been decided if everyone is 'exclusive'. You don't sound as though you think it's a train-smash so maybe play it that you're OK with it as long as he tells you the truth?

Themumsnot Thu 25-Oct-12 14:09:03

Is this the guy who has forbidden you to tag him on Facebook?

MrsTCrowley Thu 25-Oct-12 14:11:08

To be honest, my head is telling me nothing dodgy happened anyway - she's very young, not even 20 by the looks of it and there are no pictures of them kissing of holding hands etc, more group shots but she does have more of him on his own than anyone else in the group suggesting that they spent a lot of time together. Then one pic of them sat together with drinks in hands with their heads touching. Perhaps a bit of flirting went on but my instincts tell me they didn't sleep together.
If they did, I would be upset but it wouldn't be a deal breaker for me - I'm more concerned that he's showing willingness for lying than anything else.

ClippedPhoenix Thu 25-Oct-12 14:14:00

Well he obviously went quiet due to "having a good time" with someone else. He tested the waters elsewhere and came back coz liked swimming with you better or she lost interest. Not sure I'd want all that information to be honest. It would sort of ring a few alarm bells for me.

HeftyHeifer Thu 25-Oct-12 14:16:18

What doesn't sit well with me is that text where he said he feels guilty enjoying himself with you away. You were on holiday, having a good time of your own. If you'd been away on a work trip to somewhere god forsaken I could understand his comment.
Understand completely about the possibility of him lying bothering you more than him sleeping with her.

MolotovBomb Thu 25-Oct-12 20:14:13

You neednto ask him because this is going eat you up unless you do.

My feeling is that the word 'fun' = 'I shagged her' but that it took this to show him that his real feelings are for you.

I'd cut him some slack as you weren't properly together at that time. Me, being somewhat pessimistic by nature, might be being unfair to your chap. 'Fun' might mean some serious flirting, etc, and not a shag.

Just ask him. Cover your tracks about doing the defective work on FB. Its never good to appear stalker-ish (I'm half-joking).

MolotovBomb Thu 25-Oct-12 20:15:40

Not defective, but detective! Could be the wine, could be the iPhone

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