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will i get help.

(5 Posts)
chubbymomie2012 Wed 24-Oct-12 10:13:26

I have four children. 12 10 2 and 7 months. my relationship is breaking down in front of my eyes despite my efforts to save it. I am facing the real prospect that i will be on my own with the kids soon. im terrified. i have worked all my adult life as a nurse at the moment im on maternity leave. im not due back till Feb but if we split i will need to go back sooner. i will have to rent a 4 bedroom house or a 3 bed house with 2 recept rooms. i just dont think my part time salary will cover it. does anyone know if i will qualify for help with rent?

botandhothered Wed 24-Oct-12 10:37:18

You will get tax credits and possibly some housing benefit and council tax benefit, also help with childcare costs. You will also be entitled to maintenance from you ex. You will be ok. Good luck.

foolonthehill Wed 24-Oct-12 10:38:28

Sorry you are in this situation. There is no way except to do the sums in detail. Don't forget that if the DCs are his he will still be financially responsible for them. You will also need to include childcare costs and "guess" how much time he will have the DCs. I take it you have to move out with DCs rather than stay and him find alternative accommodation.

Most of these links were posted by Offred elsewhere...I found them very useful:

Married or Living Together?
This is a key question, because if you are married, generally speaking you have greater protection when a relationship breaks down.

Legal Issues around marriage/cohabitation and relationship breakdown are explained here:
www.adviceguide.org.uk/england/relationships_e/relationships_living_together_marriage_and_civil_partnership_e/living_together_and_marriage_legal_differences.htm#Ending_a_relationship

www.advicenow.org.uk/living-together/

DirectGov advice on divorce, separation and relationship breakdown:
www.direct.gov.uk/en/Governmentcitizensandrights/Divorceseparationandrelationshipbreakdown/index.htm

Legal Rights and issues around contact are further explained here:
www.rightsofwomen.org.uk/legal.php#children_relationship_breakdownwww.maypole.org.uk/

These guides from law firms quite informative and easy to read – there are others of course:

www.family-lawfirm.co.uk/uploaded/documents/Surviving-Family-Conflict-and-Divorce---2nd-edition.pdf

www.terry.co.uk/hindex.html

Finance

Before you see a family law solicitor, get hold of every single piece of financial information you have access to, and take copies or make notes. Wage slips, P60s, tax returns, employment contracts, pensions and other statements – savings, current account and mortgages, deeds, rental leases, utility bills, council tax bills, credit statements. Are there joint assets such as a home, pensions, savings, shares?

CSA maintenance calculator:
www.csacalculator.dsdni.gov.uk/calc.asp

Handy tax credits calculator:
www.hmrc.gov.uk/taxcredits/payments-entitlement/entitlement/question-how-much.htm#7

Handy 5 Minute benefit check, tax and housing benefit calculators:
www.moneysavingexpert.com/family/

CAB Benefits Check:
www.citizensadvice.co.uk/getadvice/benefit-calculator/A2B-Benefit-Calculator/#730

Parenting issues:
www.familylives.org.ukwww.theparentconnection.org.uk[[Housingwww.england.shelter.org.uk/get_advice/families_and_relationships/relationship_breakdown

Children their welfare, needs and interests are paramount.

get word of mouth recommendations for family lawyers in your area if possible. As you have children at school, ask around for a recommendation in your area. – there’s a lot of knowledge and support out there!

Many family lawyers will offer the first half hour consultation free.

You can read advice and search by area for a family lawyer here:
www.resolution.org.uk/

You will also read good advice and find a family lawyer here:
www.divorceaid.co.uk/

You will be encouraged to attend mediation. This can help by encouraging discussion about arrangements for children and finance in a structured way in a neutral setting. However, it only works if both parties are willing to reach agreement.

If there has been violence or emotional abuse, discuss this with your solicitor first. Always get legal advice, or at the very least make sure you are aware of your legal rights, before you begin mediation.

Best wishes

chatteringteeth Wed 24-Oct-12 16:00:16

You will probably get housing benefit as a single parent working p/t, but it's unlikely to cover the cost of a 4 bed house. Children are generally expected to share bedrooms, if they are over 10 they can still be expected to share a room with a same sex sibling but would not be expected to share if they are opposite sex. You can top it up of course out of your salary, other benefits and maintenance. The exact figures will be available from your local council's website, look for the local housing allowance.

lisaro Wed 24-Oct-12 16:02:10

You don't 'need' a 4 bed or 2 reception rooms. If you get help it will cover what you need, not what you think you need.

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