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Are my feelings about DTD abnormal?

(24 Posts)
forninmyside Wed 24-Oct-12 00:54:06

I can only have sex when I am drunk. Ever.
I absolutely think sex is great when I'm "in the moment". But it phsycally repulses me if I think anout it when I'm not "in the moment". Actual shudders.
Are these feelings normal?Iguess they're not, else why would I be wondering. sad

InSPsFanjoNoOneHearsYouScream Wed 24-Oct-12 00:59:31

Has anything happened to you in the past to feel like this?

forninmyside Wed 24-Oct-12 01:47:06

What do you mean? Nothing unusualever happened to me - sexually, I mean.

InSPsFanjoNoOneHearsYouScream Wed 24-Oct-12 01:48:27

That's what I meant. Sorry if offended you

UltraBOF Wed 24-Oct-12 01:49:34

Can you think of anything in your upbringing that makes you especially self-conscious that you need to be a bit pissed to ignore?

Leftwingharpie Wed 24-Oct-12 07:18:29

Do you have any other tactile issues OP? E.g. Can't touch certain fabrics, cut labels out of clothes?

HappyHalloweenMotherFucker Wed 24-Oct-12 07:20:02

I don't think that is normal, and sounds very sad for you and your partner(s)

CogitoErgoSometimes Wed 24-Oct-12 07:22:42

Alcohol reduces inhibitions which is why you find it easier to get aroused after a drink. Do you actually have to be 'drunk' or just have the edge taken off with a glass of something? Does this problem happen with a long-term partner or are you talking about new lovers?

HappyHalloweenMotherFucker Wed 24-Oct-12 07:23:31

Depending on how often you "dtd" are you heading for a drink problem if you have to be "drunk" ?

lemonstartree Wed 24-Oct-12 07:41:07

I think referring to sex as "DTD" is abnormal tbh....

fluffygal Wed 24-Oct-12 07:46:56

Have you had children recently? BFing? I felt exactly like this for 18 months after having DD2 but have just started feeling less repulsed now, although still not wanting it more then once a week I am no longer repulsed which is a big step. For me I think it was BFing although I am still doing it now, not as often.

Thumbwitch Wed 24-Oct-12 07:49:18

Are you on any form of chemical/hormonal contraception? It can affect your libido very strongly.

I don't think it's normal to be as strongly repulsed by it as you seem to be - it does appear that you have very strong feelings against it, that are only lifted when alcohol reduces your inhibitions. You can get counselling for it if you feel you need it.

Conflugenglugen Wed 24-Oct-12 14:10:10

Were you drunk when you posted this, OP?

forninmyside Wed 24-Oct-12 21:00:04

No offence taken.
No, can't think/remember anything in my upbringing.
A few tactile issues, but nothing out of ordinary - chalk, kagoule,wool.
Thank you, I'm a bit sad too.
Couple of glasses minimum. Long term partner.
" or 3 glasses 2 or 3 times a week, so I'm probably never over the NHS guidelines.
Helpful, thanks.
My youngest is 4 yo, so quite a while ago. Tbh in the light of day, I think "repulsed" is quite a strong word - I just get the "urgh, did i really do that" when I flashback to previous night's deed. Dyswim?
No chemicals/hormones so can't be that.
No, not drunk last night, just wanted advice. hmm

borisjohnsonshair Wed 24-Oct-12 22:57:56

Really it isn't the standard kind of reaction to having sex with your partner. I think it would probably help you if you could talk this through with someone who understands such things; I'm not sure who, but I'm sure your doctor could point you in the right direction. Does your partner know btw?

HeftyHeifer Wed 24-Oct-12 23:01:43

I don't have anything much to add except to say that I don't think this is how 'most' people would feel about sex. But I'm not going to label it as abnormal, because who am I to define 'abnormal' or 'normal'. ?

Can someone explain what is the relevance of the other tactile things and cutting labels out please? I have issues with some materials and often have to cut the labels out of my clothes as they easily irritate me and I can't get my mind off the irritation.

Aspiemum2 Wed 24-Oct-12 23:03:06

Are you attracted to your partner? I've only had these feelings once with an EA ex. He didn't take no for an answer so I did a lot of stuff I didn't want to and had similar feelings to you.

On the other hand, with my dh, thinking about stuff we did the night before gets me frisky and makes me want to do it again

fuzzpig Wed 24-Oct-12 23:06:38

No, my gut instinct is that I don't think it is normal for somebody who has not been abused.

But then some people are asexual aren't they? It's not something I know anything about. I remember a friend at college, who had girlfriends but couldn't stand the thought of doing anything sexual.

fuzzpig Wed 24-Oct-12 23:10:59

HH - sensory sensitivity could relate to the OP's dislike of anything intimate. Things like hatred (as opposed to just dislike) of certain textures could indicate this. They are sometimes (but not exclusively) symptoms of conditions like autism.

HeftyHeifer Wed 24-Oct-12 23:17:36

Thank you fuzzpig.

ledkr Wed 24-Oct-12 23:22:44

Was the first and most times after that you had sex whilst you were drinking iykwim. I am guessing that could be the cause. You may need to start from scratch really just practice getting it on when sober then move on slowly

DaveMccave Wed 24-Oct-12 23:31:09

Have you always felt like this, or is it a new thing? If relatively new, how long have you been with your current partner? Is your 4 yo his child?

It sounds like an esteem thing, rather than the act of sex repulsing you, from the way you feel the next day.

izzyizin Thu 25-Oct-12 01:59:41

Sexual aversion disorder isn't uncommon, but in your case it seems that you're averse to the 'thought' of dtd rather than doing it as you have no problem getting it on after a couple of inhibition releasing wine

FWIW, I'm mostly in accord with Mr Rotten's view that the act of copulation is a load of old squelching and it seems to me that nature could have determined a far more elegant solution to transference of the vital seed than through an orifice that is in frequent use for peeing shock

However, be that as it may, are these feelings of repulsion after the event a recent occurence? Do you think you would experience them if your partner were, say, Mr Depp or ideal male of your choice?

Conflugenglugen Thu 25-Oct-12 10:12:03

OP, sorry - my question sounded terse. What I was wanting to know was whether you needed to be drunk to ask about it too. However, I still think it would be worth your exploring why you feel this way. Referring to it as DTD is, in itself, an avoidance of the word sex.

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