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DS shock!

(8 Posts)
cupcake19992110436247 Tue 23-Oct-12 10:55:40

Yesturday i found out that my baby (which is due on the 1st if November) has Downs Syndrome. I am upset but know this is posible. As i had to grow up with a very ill younger brother. But Dh has taken it worse and is very very upset. He has taken the week of work and doesnt even want to get out of bed. I woke at about 5 in the morning to find him sitting up on his phone looking up infomation. I did get him back to bed after a while. But he hasnt eaten much and i am really worried. Any advise? x

wednesdaygirl Tue 23-Oct-12 11:04:56

Its just a shock once ds is here hopefully he will have read up and got his head around it smile

Dell28 Tue 23-Oct-12 11:09:32

I'm really sorry to hear you've had this shock. I have no experience of Down's Syndrome myself, but I know how differently two people within a couple can react to shock. My husband and I reacted very, very differently when our daughter died several years ago. (Sorry, not ideal comparison. But both are huge shocks) It sounds like your husband is just taking time to try to get his head around the situation. Is there someone at the hospital you can speak to? Or support groups? I would focus on yourself right now. How are you feeling? Are you eating enough? Resting enough? Talking enough?

Wishing you lots of love. I hope someone with more experience has already come along and posted, or are on their way. Xxx

cupcake19992110436247 Tue 23-Oct-12 11:19:26

Ok. Thank you. I will have a chat with him and try and find some kind of support group xx

cestlavielife Tue 23-Oct-12 11:21:17

my ds's issues (chromosome microdeletion) were not diagnosed til after birth but i do have an idea....

assuming you keeping the baby then do call the dsa helpline and talk it through and try and get h to do this too.
yes it is a shock but he is still your baby - he will look and be like a "real" baby, whatever his issues. call 0333 1212 300

tell h calmly: this is our baby. just because he has DS does not make him a monster or an alien. he doesnt know any differnt adn he will need our love and support. we will deal with it together. it will be ok. it will be different - but it will be ok. one day at a time.

now, h, get out of bed and lets get ready.

because you need someone around who is supportive - have you told your mum/friend/someone? DSA might be able to find you a local mum who can support you and be there for you and let you know it is ok. it wil be ok. different - but ok.

the diagnosis is and feels like a tragedy - your baby is not a tragedy but a little person like all babies.

izzywizzyisbizzy Tue 23-Oct-12 11:26:31

Well as someone who has experienced something life changing, but different, my advice is to leave him be to work things through in his own way.

We all process things in different ways, I was so shocked, I couldnt speak to anyone, I holed up in my room and other people had to look after DCs, I couldnt function.

I read and read and read and read, and I came through.

cestlavielife Tue 23-Oct-12 12:27:36

ps send h to the gp if he cant get out of bed. but you have little choice here but to deal with it, get some support around you if h cannot do this.

my ds with a syndrome is 16 today! its been hard funny challenging lovely - well isnt that true of any child ?

cupcake19992110436247 Tue 23-Oct-12 12:36:10

Thank you. I will look into every thing.
Congratulations on you son cestlavielife! Happy birthday to him x

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