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This is going to sound childish but why does this sort of thing always happen to me?

(6 Posts)
Bubbleburster Mon 22-Oct-12 23:34:42

Every time I've introduced two friends that don't know each other to each other they've both suddenly developed a very close friendship and effectively gone off together and totally excluded me from things.

First was when I was at college in my very late teens; I introduced a girl on my course to my best friend from school, who was doing another course, and the next thing I knew both weren't talking to me any longer, and if they did speak were just bitchy and excluded me. Then they both booked a girlie holiday together, and the friend from my course invited along some other girls from my course, but not me. I was totally out in the cold.

It's happened several other times between then and now, but fairly recently it's happened again in a big way. I had two friends that both live fairly nearby; one is my neighbour and the other lives on our estate too. I'd been good friends with each of them for several years. About a year ago I introduced them to each other. Again all of a sudden they were both barely talking to me, ignoring any contact from me and not wanting to meet up, yet posting on Facebook about their wonderful nights out, spa weekends away and shopping trips together.

I wouldn't mind friends becoming friends with other friends if they didn't exclude me all the time! It's like I don't exist any longer if I introduce any friends, and I'm getting to the stage where I try to keep all friends separate and know them all from different parts of my life, ie one from the gym, one from work, one from the school etc, as I find it so upsetting when things like the above happen to me.

MrsMangelfanciedPaulRobinson Tue 23-Oct-12 07:25:13

I've had a similar experience in the past, plus a very recent experience of a friend intentionally wheedling her way into several of my friendships and making sure that various friends stopped talking to me. It's very hurtful. I haven't got any advice I'm afraid, other than do as I do now and keep friends separate, like you've said you're going to. That's the only thing I can think of.

CogitoErgoSometimes Tue 23-Oct-12 08:56:03

The expression is 'three's a crowd'. I think your decision to compartmentalise your friends is therefore the right way forward.

SavoyCabbage Tue 23-Oct-12 08:59:36

I don't really introduce friends from different parts of my life to each other. I think when I was in my 20s, that was the way. People doing things together in great big groups, but now, not so much.

bumhead Tue 23-Oct-12 10:10:10

This has happened to me many times throughout life sad I don't know why people do this. Just wanted to let you know you're not alone in this.

YellowRiver Tue 23-Oct-12 10:17:28

Me too!!

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