I have a very strained relationship with my mother, I'm quite bitter over my childhood which is waaayyyyy too long an complex to put on here (i have talked about it on the stately home threads)
I've coped over the last few years by seeing very little of her and keeping her at an emotional distance. Every time I do see her, it drags up loads of the old feelings of inadequacy and being loathed to the surface.
In short, I thoroughly dislike the women and hope every single day I don't turn into her or make my children ever feel as she made me feel.
Anyway, she has cancer and has had for over a year. She's recently found out she has at most a year left.
The diagnosis has bought out all the bitterness in her character and today I was in the receiving end of particularly nasty, personal and vindictive rant.
I understand that we should be spending the time we have left building bridges and mending our fragile relationship. I however (an feel hugely guilty about this) want to run for the hills. I don't feel strong enough to cope with the character assassinations, put downs and sneers.
How can I get over how angry I feel and find a way to be around her without her ruining the shreds of self esteem I've managed to build up being away from her?
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Terminally Ill mother
3 replies
bettybigballs · 22/10/2012 19:31
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