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impotence, really need advice

(9 Posts)
Orchidlady Mon 22-Oct-12 12:18:28

DP is impotent, has been for several years. A few years ago he had a major breakdown (impotency started just before then) it was very challenging to say the least. Anyway to cut a long short since then our sex life has been pretty dismal and if we are going to stay together need find a way forward. We have come very close to splitting up last week and I think is make or break. I feel very frustrated ( so does he),and know to get things back on track he needs some outside help. I have been so patient with him and do my best to not make him feel bad ( as know it can be a vicious circle) Anyway we would like to give something like viagra a try and basically wondered what other people experiences was of this. I know it is not available on the NHS so I guess an online pharmacy would be the way to go?

Bunnygotwhacked Mon 22-Oct-12 12:28:59

I havent had any experience with viagra or impotency but to my mind I think the viagra would only be a short term solution. If you decided to go ahead with that. There is obviously an underlying problem that needs to be sorted will he speak with a gp do you think? I personally would want him to get a check up before taking the pills anyway as they can have negative side effects heart attacks being one of them, you could try putting it across that way. Have you tried any other means herbal remedies/ pumps etc

CogitoErgoSometimes Mon 22-Oct-12 12:35:26

I'd also suggest he talks to the GP first and foremost rather than self-diagnose or self-treat. Erectile Dysfunction can be symptomatic of various physical health problems as well as made worse by stress or psychological issues. If he has health problems they need to be treated and Viagra may or may not be an appropriate thing to take. Here's a link to the NHS Choices site on the subject. Erectile Dysfunction

Orchidlady Mon 22-Oct-12 12:55:49

Thanks for your thoughts, he did see a GP and had full checkup some time ago, physically all seems well, the mental health issues just took over so GP and MH team wanted to resolve those first. He is in a much better place now but I think ED is a complex issue, know you can not take something like viagra forever but wondered if it might kick start things iyswim.

OneMoreChap Mon 22-Oct-12 13:00:35

Medication can cause some ED.

SSRIs, blood pressure meds. Talk to the GP specifically about impotence.
Is it just ED or is there a loss of libido, too.

[Can I just ask is PIV essential to you?]

Orchidlady Mon 22-Oct-12 13:09:41

He is on no meds now, we thought for sometime that the AD's could be a factor. The will is there but he just not performing. the more uptight he gets the worse it is becoming

CogitoErgoSometimes Mon 22-Oct-12 13:13:55

I'd ask the same thing as OneMoreChap... is PIV crucial or can you achieve arousal and orgasm as a couple in other ways? Are you intimate, in other words, or is his fear of failing to 'perform' meaning that you don't even bother initiating anything? I'm just a bit worried about the idea of a 'kick-start'... he's not a motorbike.

Orchidlady Mon 22-Oct-12 13:21:17

LOL, kickstart. Yes we are intimate. I think it has failed some many times though that he does feel that way, I have never made him feel bad about this, he really wants it to work, too much probably. I think he needs to get his confidence back. That why I was interested to hear about other experiences with these drugs.

MonkeyRisotto Mon 22-Oct-12 13:36:29

He still needs to see his GP, you need a prescription for Viagra or Cialis, even though you have to pay for them yourself. They cost in the region of £10 per pill, so it's not a long term option really.

There are also counselling services in some areas, which may be better long term prospects.

Has he tried working on kegel exercises?

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