Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

If you started a relationship with someone and

(6 Posts)
PagingDrFaggot Mon 22-Oct-12 09:28:51

3 months later he told you his ex wife was pregnant would you carry on seeing this person?
The pregnant ex wife was me BTW. I have had a bit of a roller coaster over the last couple of years but am now finally just starting to feel ready to start dating . It's got me thinking about what happened and if I started seeing someone now for a few months who then told me his ex was pregnant and there was literally a week between the getting wife pregnant and starting seeing me I would ruuuuuuuun as fast as my little legs would carry me.
Now I know stbxh is a master liar and manipulator but still how on earth do you explain that one . It got even worse in that I moved back in with him to try and make a go of things and he still was seeing his new girlfriend . We were apparently sharing a 1 bed flat with a baby so he could "support me" haaaaa !!
Old history now and I'm certainly in a better place than I was. I am just now gobsmacked at how he has got away with it really and it's only now Im moving on to dating that I have really thought about that part of it. Am crossing fingers that any potential new dates do not have pregnant ex wives in the woodwork ha!

MairyHinge Mon 22-Oct-12 09:35:19

Many, MANY, years ago I was seeing a bloke ( not sleeping with him), who had an (ex) and a son. He still lived with them to " support" them, but was sleeping on the sofa.....
After seeing him, VERY casually, for about 5 months, he announced (ex) was pregnant.
I just said "wow, your dick must be vereeee long to reach up the stairs to impregnate your "ex"" hmm

Then I ran, fast, and took no notice of the crap he spouted.

CogitoErgoSometimes Mon 22-Oct-12 09:42:30

To answer your question perhaps you need to ask yourself why, knowing that he had lied, cheated and ultimately carried on being with someone else when you were pregnant, you let him move back in and you didn't.... ruuuuun yourself? Answer in both your case and hers is that you heard what you wanted to hear at the time, believed what it suited you to believe, ignored any doubts (which there must have bee) and therefore rationalised your decision as being a good one for your own reasons. Affairs of the heart are rarely sensible and rational.

50shadesofmeh Mon 22-Oct-12 09:43:11

I never would I would run away very fast, how a man can impregnate a woman and then leave her and be scouting around looking for someone else is beyond me.

PagingDrFaggot Mon 22-Oct-12 09:50:53

Indeed cognito I wanted to believe him. However I had a LOT more at stake ( 10 years of marriage and a baby that I at least wanted to try and bring up as a family unit)
We were actually separated and in relate bollocks when I got pregnant . She on the other hand had a 3 month relationship, no real ties and a whole host of mess coming along . I really would have run away from that . He is sniffing around me and DS again at the moment the words fuck right and off may have come from my mouth this weekend grin

CogitoErgoSometimes Mon 22-Oct-12 10:36:46

You have no idea what she had at stake or what she was told. Could easily have been 'the ex has been shagging around, it's not my baby, just doing her a favour and being a shoulder to cry on....' Could simply have been a lonely woman thinking your ex, however flawed, was better than nothing.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now