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Upset over DH behaviour towards my dad

(79 Posts)
riamay2011 Sat 20-Oct-12 21:21:29

Tonight we went to see a wedding venue with my pops. My dad has been having a tough time with his business at the min and has literally tied all his money into it, plus borrowing a huge amount of money to buy out a partner has really put him through the mill. Never to say he told me and My so called fiancé that he would give us 5k towards our wedding. We got back in the car and my partner started slating my dad saying how 'tight' he was and that he couldn't believe that's all the money he was giving us.! I tried to back my dad up and say he is having a hard time at the minute and that we had just attended my partners sisters wedding where she spent 15k in one day and how he thought it was such a waste so I didn't understand where he was coming from? He now has turned all bitter on me telling me to book a shit wedding on a shit budget and be happy with the end result.???? He said he was only pissed off because he wants me to have a good day but 5 k to me is a lot of money and u can do a lot with that. I feel so hurt and now he's saying forget it???? And that he won't be contributing any money to it I've come to bed on my own had a little cry but more angry how can he do this to me this is suppose to be the best day of my life and he is ruining it sad

SamSmalaidh Sat 20-Oct-12 21:23:25

If my dad was struggling and borrowing loads of money I wouldn't be accepting £5k off him.

EverybodysSpookyEyed Sat 20-Oct-12 21:24:00

Wow - well as the 'man' in the relationship, why doesn't he pull his finger out so he can give you your special day.

riamay2011 Sat 20-Oct-12 21:24:12

I did tell my dad to leave it should I add!! Sorry just so mad with DH

RobynRidingHood Sat 20-Oct-12 21:25:27

And that he won't be contributing any money to it

Who is paying for the wedding? coz frankly, I wouldn't be making any decision at the moment on walking up the aisle.

Money is biggest factor in relationship breakdowns.

Tell us his good points!

Meepameep Sat 20-Oct-12 21:25:35

How lovely of your Dad to even offer 5k! DH and I paid for our wedding ourselves since we were both working, etc already.

Your fiance is being very rude and very bloody ungrateful!

AlmostAHipster Sat 20-Oct-12 21:25:40

Save your dad £5k and don't marry this ungrateful twonk!

Convert Sat 20-Oct-12 21:28:38

My PIL gave us a check for a grand towards our wedding and my mom paid for my dress, I was incredibly grateful for that. Your DP is behavi g like a pig. How incredibly rude of him.

MajesticWhine Sat 20-Oct-12 21:28:44

That is just horrible. Your fiancé owes you a massive apology. Is he often this mean to you? Unfortunately, it looks like his true colours are beginning to show through.

Meepameep Sat 20-Oct-12 21:28:59

Im with the others. I would do some very serious thinking about your partner. To have such an outburst because he isnt getting the financial help he wants, would worry me.

I can only imagine how terrible your Dad must have felt!

Convert Sat 20-Oct-12 21:29:04


riamay2011 Sat 20-Oct-12 21:30:21

I have just texted my dad to tell him how sorry I was for even thinking about this wedding and accepting money from him my oh is ungrateful and it hurts me so much. sad
Makes me not want to marry this man let alone be with him when he can easily slate the man I love the most in this world which is my dad

LFCisTarkaDahl Sat 20-Oct-12 21:30:23

I have no idea how old he is but I'm going to guess young.

Don't marry him, misery awaits. Your post is not just about one off the cuff remark but instead points to deep down ungratefulness and

Don't do it.

riamay2011 Sat 20-Oct-12 21:32:23

My DH says that because my dad owns a multi million pound company he should be paying more. My dad doesn't have to pay a penny!!! angry

pictish Sat 20-Oct-12 21:32:30

What a dreadful attitude. He's being a total baby.
Our whole wedding cost £1000 all in and it was brilliant - we just applied a little imagination and magic to it, and it was wonderful. With £5000 you've got no problems.

What a cock. I'd be disgusted with him.

LemonBreeland Sat 20-Oct-12 21:32:32

Your DP sounds awful, and I'd be telling him unless he stopped acting like a spoilt entitled brat that there would be no need for any money as there wouldbe no wedding.

EverybodysSpookyEyed Sat 20-Oct-12 21:32:37

was your dad in the car when your fiance said those things?????

riamay2011 Sat 20-Oct-12 21:33:13

My oh says its because my dad Is a millionaire that he should pay more.......angry

riamay2011 Sat 20-Oct-12 21:33:35

Sorry posted twice stupid internet

dequoisagitil Sat 20-Oct-12 21:33:44

If your dad is struggling as you say, you shouldn't let him give you 5K. It's madness to put him in more shit financially.

Helltotheno Sat 20-Oct-12 21:33:55

So now that you have a window of opportunity before you're shackled to this prat for life, please do the right thing and dump him.
Sorry but I think it's really selfish of you both to be even considering taking money from a family member in dire financial straits. Whats wrong with you? How could you even consider standing by listening to someone say those things to your father?

You're doing the wrong thing marrying this guy.

EverybodysSpookyEyed Sat 20-Oct-12 21:34:04

Sounds like your fiance understands nothing about economics either

HeinousHecate Sat 20-Oct-12 21:34:34

I would be worried about marrying someone who has an eye on your relatives cash. He isn't entitled to a penny and it's concerning that he thinks otherwise.

riamay2011 Sat 20-Oct-12 21:34:56

No my dad wasn't in the car. My OH was acting all nice and sweet in front of him. Two faced. And he's 29 and I'm 26

Helltotheno Sat 20-Oct-12 21:35:27

My oh says its because my dad Is a millionaire that he should pay more

Well he's made it pretty obvious why he's marrying you, he must be very disappointed now. Twunt...

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