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How did you meet your DH/DP/DW?

(16 Posts)
MadameOvary Sat 20-Oct-12 19:06:36

And who made the first move and when?
Am asking because in my past (abusive) relationship my ex did the whole "quick attachment and expression" shtick and completely lovebombed me.
Am now seeing a nice normal man who seems to be respecting my boundaries, which is nice, but I'm not used to taking it slowly and feel completely in the dark about how to behave! Anyone else feel like this?
The "how" bit is just me being nosey btw grin.

FlorentinePogen Sat 20-Oct-12 19:43:05

Shouldn't you be sitting in The Bow Bar or sashaying along George St. instead of wasting your Saturday on here ? wink

MadameOvary Sat 20-Oct-12 20:07:28

Oh now you have to PM me and tell me who you are grin

RobynRidingHood Sat 20-Oct-12 20:12:47

In the pub. I was going out with his best mate at the time.

My first words? "Hi, I don't sleep in the wet patch"

Went into work next day, announced I'd met the man I was going to marry, kept a close eye strong friendhsip with for 2 years until the time was right to start dating.

Still didn't let him into my bedroom for another 3 months though grin

allchangeplease Sat 20-Oct-12 20:41:15

hi OP, do you really mean making a move sexually? whether you should wait for him or do it yourself? in this case, do you feel you WANT to move closer and he's dithering..this could mean he is shy and wants some encouragement, but I understand where you are coming from as it's attractive when a man is passionate towards you, yet the other side of that can be 'lovebombing'. How do you spend your time together, is more social or more one to one? do you flirt a lot with him, if not maybe he thinks you aren't ready for more.

Interested in what others say as I often have the same dilemma!

lobsterclaw Sat 20-Oct-12 20:43:38

MadameO, I had EXACTLY the same thing with the partner I'm just splitting up from, lovebombing is a good term.

I haven't moved on enough as yet to meet anyone else but good luck to you, I'm sure I'd feel the same when (if) I started dating again smile

MadameOvary Sun 21-Oct-12 00:12:45

Hello, I've said quite openly that I want to take things slowly and he's fine with that. It's nice to just "be" and not be pressured. I've had enough experience of "high drama" relationships to last a lifetime. I've been quite nervous after my past experiences but he's been lovely. So as yet, it's all good. smile

PervyMuskrat Sun 21-Oct-12 00:44:06

At uni. He made the first move after being friends for over a year, but I let him know that the move would be appreciated wink

Ladylou83 Sun 21-Oct-12 02:24:23

I met stbxh at work, having just told him off for messing around. It would be fair to say he fell into the 'lovebombing' group. Things moved fast, but ended equally as fast when his infidelity came to light.

Having sworn myself off men, I met my now bf at work, again having delivered a telling off. We didn't get on for ages and then one day just stopped and chatted. It's gone in from there. Things have moved at a completely different pace than ever before, which has been a learning curve for me, but for now things are good. We have different long term goals so I don't know how things will pan out but for now it's one day at a time

BadLad Sun 21-Oct-12 03:45:17

Current DW - mutual friend introduced us

XDW - met in a book shop

SomewhereInCanada Sun 21-Oct-12 04:08:31

I initially met DH at Merchant Navy training college. The few girls there all lived on the top floor of one accommodation block. It was a Sunday night and I was ironing my uniform shirt for the next day. He had come up to the block, as his best mate wanted to ask one of the other girls out. He asked me out but I refused as I was in what I thought was a steady and committed long distance relationship. I got dumped two weeks later.

Fast forward several months and I was involved in a collision at sea on my first voyage. Nine of my colleagues were killed. DH invited me to visit him at home. The rest is history. We've been married 17 years. He hasn't seen me ironing since ....

Yamyoid Sun 21-Oct-12 04:27:45

I spotted dh at uni as he was on the same course. Thought he was very good looking and pointed him out to my friend. In a night club I was dancing and rather drunk, as was he. Friend gave me a good shove into him and that was that!

MadameOvary Sun 21-Oct-12 13:15:00

Thanks Lobster I've actually learned quite a lot from online dating, not least about myself. grin

FlorentinePogen Sun 21-Oct-12 14:44:01

I was running a pub in deepest, darkest Southwestern Germany in 1993. An American woman walked up to the bar to order some drinks and threw in the line "Gee, for a German you speak really good English...."thanks

How could this Edinburgh born-and-bred guy not fall for a line that ?

17 yrs. married come Feb.

AllGoodNow Sun 21-Oct-12 15:02:21

loving the word lovebombed, very good one there!

Met my DP now after deciding I needed to go out on my own for once, and just walked down the local pub one night (this was before the term "bucket list!). Known him for ever as he was friends with my best friends brother (apparently he had always likes me - should have told me sooner!!)

He was on the bench outside as I came up to the door, starting chatting and just knew straight away he was it for me :-) sadly it was high drama for us from the off, because the moment I told my obsessed and violent EH, he tried to kill me. Didn't see DP for 3 months after that, as I was too scared, then our friends got us back together and that's been it ever since (nearly 3 years).

I think you have to go with your gut on this one, it's great that you've met a nice man, I agree, it's very hard to get used to being treated nicely! Tell yourself you deserve it, and bloody well is too short not to take a chance, even on a previously broken heart x

MadameOvary Sun 21-Oct-12 16:47:30

AllGoodNow very true (love your name btw) smile

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