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Meeting exH's new partner today.

(9 Posts)
JakeBullet Sat 20-Oct-12 09:13:07

A bit nervous tbh. She sounds absolutely lovely and I know DS has met her and he raves about her.

DS is autistic and has for the first time ever shown an interest in football so he has started playing with a local special needs team. ExH is over the moon and is coming today to watch DS play and bringing his new woman with him.

As I say she sounds lovely and I know she has been very much of the opinion that DS comes first with DH. I am keen to meet her and say hello...I am not expecting us to be bosom buddies (although I would be happy to have her as a friend unless this feels too much for her) but I am keen to get to know her so we can talk and be friendly etc.

They are coming this morning.....panicking in case she is a house proud clean freak and sees all my chaotic clutter lol....don't know why I am worrying as exH is a slob when it comes to organisation and tidiness.

Am I being weird in wanting to get to know her...she will have a lot to do with DS.

Ra88 Sat 20-Oct-12 09:18:38

I'd want to know someone that is having a lot of involvement with my child . Not sure about being friends tho .. That would be abit too much for me but friendly chatting would be fine .. Depends how me and dh split though I think !

omletta Sat 20-Oct-12 09:25:06

I am friends with my DHs exDW. Without doubt it has been the best possible situation for everyone involved. My DSDs are growing up secure in their relationship with us all, there is no opportunit for them to 'play' one part of the family off against the other, and EW and I have been mutually supportive to each other in difficult times.

It was a little awkward at first, but we both worked hard at it, because we both saw the value, and 12 years down the line we are certainly friends.

GlesgaRocket Sat 20-Oct-12 09:25:53

I think you sound lovely, and it's great that you and your ex are able to do this for the sake of your son.

She'll probably be just as nervous as you are. Not weird in wanting to get to know her at all - when my ex meets someone who he decides to introduce to our DD and then me, i hope i'll be able to be as mature and sensible about it as you are! But friendship can't be forced, and it's probably best to be polite and friendly and make her feel welcome and see how it goes from there.

Good luck.

omletta Sat 20-Oct-12 09:26:20

Oh and I meant to say she will be just as terrified about meeting you.

DinosaursOnASpaceship Sat 20-Oct-12 09:38:32

I hope it goes well. I've never had to meet a new partner of exH as he hasn't had one (we split over 6 years ago) but he has met partners of mine. He's been really good about it, I was with one partner for three years and they got on well - I have a photo from one Christmas where exH and partner are stood chatting in the background as all the kids in my family are milling around. It's good for the children I think when everyone gets along. Even exHs family liked my partner at the time and speak fondly of him. They even have him on fb and update him on how the dc are. We split three years ago and he was my first relationship after my divorce. ExH handled it with dignity and I was very impressed. I hope I would be the same if the tables were turned - I hope he meets someone soon, it's a shame to see a good man go to waste.

Current ex and father to ds3&4 would be a complete nightmare if I was to meet someone. He is very much a "no man round my kids" type oaf. I wouldn't like to meet a partner of his as he'd no doubt have told them lie after lie about what a manipulative bitch I am. I can see problems in the future.

JakeBullet Sat 20-Oct-12 15:13:08

Well, I met her.....and she is indeed lovely and had been nervous about meeting me. Sightless awkward moment when DS observed that "Daddy you've got two wives now"! Thankfully she just laughed as did I grin.


RobynRidingHood Sat 20-Oct-12 19:04:47

I think it's wonderful that all three of you are so mature and put your childs need first grin so many use children as a weapon.

So glad it went well for you

Bogeyface Sat 20-Oct-12 19:44:35

Why cant more people be like this? so much better for all involved smile

My ex's most recent GF was a nightmare, she hated my guts despite never meeting me, not being involved (or even knowing him) when we split up and me being happily married (at the time wink) to my H! She kicked off whenever we had to speak to each other and said that when the kids were with me then they "werent his problem" hmm

She picked the wrong man for that though, as he dumped her when she said it was her or his kids.

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