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Shall I move for love?

(4 Posts)
Mcgazza Fri 19-Oct-12 23:04:09

I have been seeing my boyfriend for 3 years and have 3 children with my ex husband who I left as he was abusive and unfaithful. My boyfriend and I have never lived together and my middle daughter has been difficult with him as she is close to her dad and our breakup has been very stressful, however life has calmed down somewhat. My boyfriend is unable to find work in my area as his work is specialised and I am considering moving away to be with him, I love him very much, I've known him for 20 years and want to be with him. I feel very unhappy and hemmed in where I live as there are very few opportunities for work or advancement and there are few people my own age and little to do socially. I feel my children would benefit long term from having a happier mum and being somewhere with greater opportunities and I will hopefully only be moving an hour or two's drive away. My children are 15, 14 and 8, at the moment they spend weekends with their dad, I have always put them first and this is going to be a difficult decision to make as there are so many unknowns, and i don't think my children, ex husband or the rest of my family who live in this area will take the news well, however I don't want to miss an opportunity for happiness. My boyfriend and I have tried to have a long distance relationship for 2 years and he has lived in the same area as me for the last year and neither situation has worked out, he has to move again and I want to try this but I'm petrified as I have never lived anywhere else and nor have my children. Any advice would be really welcome.

cestlavielife Fri 19-Oct-12 23:07:50

The 15 and 14 year olds are at critical schooling. They may choose to stay with their dad and keep their school friends and so on. Is that an option ? Then they could visit you n weekends ? You could take younger one and move school for him if dad agrees .

Or let them all stay with dad and you move and they can visit with you at alternative weekends ?

Netmumsrule Fri 19-Oct-12 23:10:14

I would move if you feel it is right- I think you just need clarification. From what you have said I think you need to work on your middle child as everything else will work itself out.

Mcgazza Fri 19-Oct-12 23:16:43

This is my main issue, my middle daughter I think would want to stay with her dad (at the moment she is often with him half the week) and come to me at weekends to stay with her friends, but the eldest and youngest would definitely stay with me. I wouldn't move until after the eldest has finished exams next summer. I don't know if their dad would cope having them during the week either.

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