Hello to all here. I came on to MN at one of the worst times of my life, a couple of years ago. My name was Allchanging then. Since that time I have visited many times....too worried to post anything more about my life in case I was detected by anyone that may of known me, or even labelled as a troll!
Reading through today, I really believe I could help some people and be helped too, as sometimes in life you are never truly healed....I see so many of the people here that helped me (and some that gave me a harsh talking to!) are still here, still giving out great advice and basically missed you all.
Quick background....was in an abusive relationship for 11 years, when I came on here, I was trying to exit said (at the time) marriage, and was very, very scared. Too scared to even give the correct ages for my children, in case someone guessed who I was. You know what? Now I don't care nor am I that paranoid! It's a good place to be.
I still have many residual issues with what I went through, all though I have gone through the absolute worst and come through the other side, I still have to live with the effects every day. I was mentally, emotionally, physically and sexually abused and nearly died trying to get myself and my DC's out of that life. I finally achieved it, and have to say that MN and this board helped me do that, even if I didn't say much.
The bastard that did all this to me, is the father of my children, my ex husband, my "first love". I reported him, made statement after statement, went to court, testified, got non molestation & restraining orders, sent him to prison and I'M PROUD OF THAT. I'm proud I held my head up high, went through hell, and came out bruised but not broken.
For anyone out there in a DV situation, please believe me that no matter what you have to go through, no matter how much you stay thinking your actually doing your kids a favour because "only I can calm him down", no matter how much pain and shit you have to go through IT IS WORtH IT!!!
After all of that and more, I have 2 happy, amazing, settled, intelligent, well rounded children, a fu**ing amazing partner, and my family and friends back from the place I banished them from, because I was so controlled.
Sorry if this sounds like a rant, more than a reintroduction! It's just that some things I have read tonight have made me see red! I really hope anyone here who may remember and connected with me is OK, and that I can join you all again. xx
Welcome back . I don't think I remember you but I've just read your thread and wanted to say 'well done you!' It really does sound like you're in a great place right now after having been through an horrific ordeal. Well done!
thank you both so much. I am in a really good place now and thank myself lucky and strong for it every day. Follyfoot, may I please stand next to you as well?! It's a tough journey, I just hope anyone in that position knows how much it empowers you and betters your life to get the hell out x
defo ...it is Friday after all, and will be heading to la la land soon I think, but will keep coming back for sure. Wish I hadn't held back as much as I did back then, might have got stronger sooner! Hope I can do some good (going to refer to you as MF from now on as you change with the season, and that's how I know you!!)