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Is this a man playing mind games or me being petty/too sensitive?

(20 Posts)
NikitaM Fri 19-Oct-12 17:16:18

I'll give one example but there are many, many like it.

Yesterday, boyfriend texting me throughout the day with lots of xxx and "missing you" type comments. Last night texts coming through such as "you're gorgeous xxx" and "I wanna kiss you a million times a day".

At 10pm I was knackered so sent him a text saying I was going to bed. He replied and carried on texting me sweet stuff "can't sleep without you" and "my bed is cold, wanna snuggle you" etc until 11.45pm.

Today -

I got a brief text off him this morning in reply to me sending him my exam results and a text at 3pm simply saying "hows it going?"

COMPLETE contrast to yesterday. Now I know everyone has off days but it shouldn't change an entire persona, surely?

I'm not whinging btw, I'm beyond caring now because this has been the case since we met. All over me one minute, cool as a cucumber the next. I used to let it stress me out wondering what was going on but I really am beyond it now. I just want to know if others see this as mind games/hot & cold behaviour or if I'm just too sensitive?

zombieplanmum Fri 19-Oct-12 17:20:50

Maybe he is just busy today? how long have you been seeing each other?

madonnawhore Fri 19-Oct-12 17:22:12

Yes it sounds like mind games.

And also I'd be really pissed off at him continuing to text you for another hour and 45 mins after you'd told him you were going to bed. That's really disrespectful. He knew you were knackered and likely sleeping and he kept pestering you with lovey dovey bollocks anyway. I don't think he takes your feelings or needs very seriously.

I'd it's been like this from the start then I doubt it'll change. Do you want to spend the rest of the relationship not knowing where you stand? Sounds rubbish to me.

NikitaM Fri 19-Oct-12 17:25:52

About 6 months Zombie. Thing is, even if he was busy, surely his texts could be a bit "nicer" than that? it's like he's talking to a mate - but then if all his texts were like that it would be ok! it's the fact that he blows hot and cold to some extremes that gets to me.

I never know where I stand with him. Not just with texts but he says things and then goes back on them all the time. I'm starting to wonder if he has some kind of mood swing disorder as he admits he says things when he's feeling "excited" and then realises that it's bullshit when he "comes down" - he's done this with weekends away, nights out - all kinds of shit.

NikitaM Fri 19-Oct-12 17:26:18

Oh and when we last discussed this he said "just take things I say with a pinch of salt" - I shouldn't have to!!

CogitoErgoSometimes Fri 19-Oct-12 17:26:55

I think you're too sensitive. Ignore all texts as being equally meaningless. Don't think any more of the OTT effusive stuff than you do of the one-liners.

chipsandmushypeas Fri 19-Oct-12 17:27:54

Did you post about this a couple of weeks ago?

Edofthe13prams Fri 19-Oct-12 17:29:01

Horrible - I hate that sort of relentless tex-wank he is doing to you.

It serves no purpose for you - he knew you were going to bed. Hes just getting a kick out of it.

Selfish so and so.

And then to be all offish the next day seems to indicate that he is annoyed with you for not responding in kind/with gratitude to his soppy crap.

Men like this (I may be wrong - but ime) are emotionally fucked up. They don't know what is appropriate.

I would get out now tbh.

PurplePidjInAPointyHat Fri 19-Oct-12 17:32:12

It doesn't matter if it's you or him - you don't like it, therefore the relationship is over.

DragonMamma Fri 19-Oct-12 17:33:22

Is this the one you have posted about recently? To do with Facebook and tagging pictures - twice?

Looking at the bigger picture here I think you need to step away from him, he clearly makes you a bit crazy and tbh, your posts have come over as very needy and a bit obsessed with over analysing everything he bloody does.

Whoever is the slightly mad one in this relationship, I think it's best you aren't together. I've never seen so many posts on a 6 month relationship!

BalloonSlayer Fri 19-Oct-12 17:33:44

Does it have to be "mind games" ?

Can it not be that he was horny last night and therefore overly affectionate, today, post-wank, he is back to normal?

BalloonSlayer Fri 19-Oct-12 17:34:08

Oh sorry didn't realise OP had posted before.

OneMoreGo Fri 19-Oct-12 17:34:37

Oh god, not this again. sad It is, isn't it? The same OP as the last squillion times I mean.

VolumeOfACone Fri 19-Oct-12 17:34:43

People have busy days, when they can't text so often.
That's all I'd take from that.

zombieplanmum Fri 19-Oct-12 17:52:59

what balloon sayer said! Its only been six months, if you are as insecure as you seem, you are going to push him away. If he is playing mind games you are not going to loose anything by backing off, he was never worth it in the first place.

mutny Fri 19-Oct-12 18:00:16

Oh my god OP. Why is this still going? and I am sure you said it was 12 weeks a couple of weeks ago.

This relationship is causing you no end of stress. Honestly are you happy?

mutny Fri 19-Oct-12 18:05:47

So you started 2 threads in aibu AND 1 chat about other people tagging him and you being told not to because you don't trust him.

Have you spoken to him? Did you actually hack his fb?

Maybe he is distant today as he uses that application that shows you who has been looking at your profile and so have his friends. I don't use fb but I have heard this tool mentioned. Perhaps after you went to bed he was on fb and discovered you spent the day fb stalking him.

Seriously OP, I don't mean to sound like a bitch. But you can't be happy. This many issues in such a short space?

pictish Fri 19-Oct-12 18:09:29

I don't know...but if I got a text telling me he wanted to kiss me a million times a day, I'd be ditching him anyway. I'm not bought by slush and blether, and it makes me feel slightly ill.

TakeMyEyesButNotTheGoat Fri 19-Oct-12 19:09:57

Oh not again OP.

You get the same advice everytime, abandon the threads then post the exact same thing a few days later.

When are you actually going to listen to the advice?

blazingoreos Fri 19-Oct-12 22:33:11

This one again?


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