I think my partner has ''checked out'' of our relationship.
Im going to admit it, im hard work, in fact ive turned into my mother. Im not affectionate, im not a smiley, life and soul of the party type person, i think my partner just thinks im miserable because quite frankly i feel like ive lost my identity.
When me and my partner met i was a drinker and loved nothing more than a night down the pub singing bad kareoke, i was big into football (we supported the same team, it what bonded us) i worked full time and like to think i was quite popular at work, i chatted to everyone and always had plenty to say.
Got pregnant and lost my job, have been unemployed ever since (5 years now) recently had another baby.
I feel trapped at home every day, i have 2 good friends but both live an hour away, work full time and i dont see much of them.
I feel like my personality has dissapeared, ive become very shy, i havent drank for 3 years, havent watched the footie for that long either, dont see many people through the day to chat to and just feel generally bored with life.
My partner IS the life and soul of the party, he's very loud, he's friends with everyone, is popular, likes a good time, and i feel like i probably dont interest him much anymore because im not the same person i was when we first met, all i have to talk about these days is the kids and stuff ive read on Mumsnet.
My partner makes all the effort in our relationship, he's the one that will come over and hug and kiss me, he's the one who will offer an olive branch after a argument, he's the one who cracks jokes and has stories to tell, he's the one who will make a move in the bedroom....
But recently he's started commenting on how i never go and give him a hug or a kiss, he comments about how much ive changed since having the kids, i feel like ive cheated him somehow, that maybe my past was all a front and this is who i really am, or ive just lost myself due to isolation?
And now, he's stopped making so much effort, i dont blame him, i wouldnt either if i never got spontanious affection in return, he must feel like i dont love/fancy him, but he couldnt be more wrong, i love him to pieces and fancy the pants off him, i just dont know how to be an affectionate person :(
Im thinking that maybe if i went out and got a job then id start to get ''myself back'' baby is 8 months old and i know some people finish maternity leave once baby is 6 months. Im just scared, ive got so used to staying indoors that the thought ofworking and interacting with people scares the shit out of me, but i think this could be the solution, what do you ladies think? Get out of my comfort zone and (try to) get a job, or wait until babys older and i can sort this out myself?
Sorry if this posts all over the place, im just scared that DP has had enough of me and my ways and will leave :(
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Think he's had enough
Itstoolate · 18/10/2012 22:56
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