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boyfreinds dad just died

(9 Posts)
SammyFirstBaby Thu 18-Oct-12 15:06:37

They wernt as close as he would have liked, but its torn him apart.
I'm trying my best to be supportive, but I want to do like a "I'm here box"
With like some cute sentimental stuff?
Any ideas?

izzyizin Thu 18-Oct-12 15:17:12

What's an 'I'm here box'? Are you trying to muscle in intrude on his grief by reminding him you're 'here'?

Cute sentimental stuff is for Valentine's Day and other such commercial events. On this occasion it would be more appropriate for you to buy him a condolence card and convey your sorrow for his loss in your own words without drawing attention to your needs.

droves Thu 18-Oct-12 15:33:07

Nicer thing would be to help your bf make a memory book about his dad . Include pictures of him with his dad and nice things they did together ( football matches , days out ,) things that remind your bf of his dad .

Is that what you mean op ?

SweetSeraphim Thu 18-Oct-12 15:38:35

She means an 'I'm here for you' sort of thing I think

izzyizin Thu 18-Oct-12 15:45:32

If that's what you mean, OP, forget the 'cute sentimental stuff' as that can come later/on another occasion and write him a card/letter expressing your heartfelt sympathy for his loss.

I would avoid any declaration of 'I'm here for you' because to the bereaved this can be a reminder that the one they want to be 'here' is no longer availabe to them.

ClippedPhoenix Thu 18-Oct-12 16:00:32

Oh no op don't do that, far too personal a thing. Only time these should be used when the soon to be deceased makes one up for a child/close relative.

Catsdontcare Thu 18-Oct-12 16:05:59

Sorry but I think the idea of a box full of cute sentimental stuff is not a good idea, however well intentioned. You can be there for him by telling him so.

apprenticeboy Thu 18-Oct-12 18:05:56

I'm agreeing with the others.
Nice thought but wrong!!

BadgersGhostlyRetreatWoo Thu 18-Oct-12 20:32:28

you'd be better to give him a big cuddle, tell him how sorry you are about his dad dying and telling him you're there to talk about it whenever he wants. That's what i needed when my dad died.

(and try not to fall apart if he cries all over you)

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