I am in my early thirties. I feel like over the last couple of years I have been re-emerging into a better place after years of very low self esteem and terrible anxiety. At the worst point in my life, I was so low I isolated myself from friends and people, wanting to shut myself away and not interact much with others. This was I believe due mainly to having been in a very controlling and abusive relationship with a man in my late teens/early twenties which totally annihilated my self worth.
Anyway, now I feel like I do want to go out and meet new people, which is what I have been doing - the usual type stuff people always tell you to do such as evening classes, taking up invitations to go to social events, making small talk with people etc. My social confidence I would say has improved enormously, I can take or leave people I meet and my assertiveness is much better.
However....the problem I have now, and the point of my thread, is that when I get to a point with a new acquaintance - where I get on well with someone and they seem to like me too i.e. texting, seeking each other out at events, invitations out etc - that point where an acquaintance becomes the potential to become a friendship, I seem to go into a panic and I start over-analysing everything I say or do, thinking I have said something stupid or that they will find out who I really am and not like me anymore. I also seem to just clam up more in conversation and then worry endlessly that I am coming across as weird or awkward or boring.
A recent example of this is a girl I get on well with on one of my evening classes texted me asking if I was OK after I missed one of our classes due to a family do I had to go to. I texted her back explaining why i missed the class and now I feel really bad thinking I should have texted her before the class and now she must think I'm being really ignorant. I am constantly worrying that I do and say the wrong things.
I'd like to know if anyone has any advice, or perhaps others feel like this too?
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Overanalysing and doubting myself with new friendships
6 replies
FlippetyFlipFlaps · 17/10/2012 22:55
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