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Think I've been dumped (or am about to be). Absolutely gutted.

(9 Posts)
MyoCardigan Wed 17-Oct-12 21:35:13

Namechanged as I don't want this following me on other forums but basically I've been in a relationship for about 4 months. Everything moved so fast and before long we were seeing each other almost every night of the week. We started doing almost everything together and I really started to feel like I loved him. I thought about him 24/7 and he would text me daily throughout the day - supposedly he felt the same way.

We went on weekends away together and had so much fun, so many laughs, cuddles, amazing sex, talks - I honestly thought he might be the one.

Everything was going so well. Then this weekend we went out and he got a bit drunk and started going on about his ex wife. By the end of the night he was saying that he wasn't sure if he was ready for a relationship as he was still cut up over his divorce and it was "all so complicated" as he was terrified of hurting his kids anymore than had already been done.

I asked him if he wanted to split, he said maybe it would be the best thing for me as he couldn't give me what I wanted. I held it together but cried my heart out when I got home - I know we've only known each other for a short time but I can't imagine going back to not having him in my life. I asked if we were over - he said "lets just see how things go". I've not heard from him all day today.

I'm just gutted. I can't stop thinking about him. I don't understand how things can be so good one minute and broken into pieces the next. We had so much planned too sad

I have university work that needs to be in for tomorrow but I just can't focus on it. I miss him so much already. Sorry just needed a whinge, I know how pathetic I sound. I'm just so hurt.

BinksToEnlightenment Wed 17-Oct-12 21:37:57

I'm so sorry. How horrible for you sad

nilbyname Wed 17-Oct-12 21:41:43

Wow, what a shame, that is really tough.

IMO though he has treated you shabbily and how his kids might feel should have been at the forefront of his mind, him making a future, and planning a life so soon after his marriage split feels irresponsible and rushed. So sorry you have been caught up in his mess.

In saying that, give him the space he needs, he may come back to you.

Dozer Wed 17-Oct-12 21:44:52


How long ago did he start living separately from his wife? Why did they break up?

osterleymama Wed 17-Oct-12 21:50:07

Ooh ouch. I'm so sorry but honestly, I think he's done the right thing and is being honest with himself and you, which isn't easy. His kids will and should always come first and I understand why he would worry about his first serious relationship after divorce impacting them. Give him space, don't put your life on hold but do recognise that he's treating you with respect and kindness and I hope that eases the blow a little..

emsyj Wed 17-Oct-12 21:51:13

Sounds like too much, too soon to me - give him a wide berth for a while, and don't try and have any discussions about it. Just leave him be. Keep busy.

panicnotanymore Wed 17-Oct-12 21:57:37

He isn't over his wife. I imagine he threw himself into the relationship with you because he likes you and wants to try and get over his wife.... but he just isn't there yet.

DioneTheDiabolist Wed 17-Oct-12 22:32:13

Myo, a little while back your post could have come from my BF (apart from the ex wife bit). I didn't drunkenly tell him my worries, I drunkenly e-mailed them.

He texted me the next day to tell me how upset he was and that he'd call later. That night he came round. We soberly discussed my worries. I was so worried about this amazing relationship that had thusfar existed in a romantic summertime bubble coming to an end when real life reared it's ugly head and the potential devastation that could cause to me, DS and BF.

It helped us work out what kind of relationship we wanted and how to progress. He made me realize that no relationship comes with guarantees, but what we had was good and worth building on.

ThingsThatGoBumpInTheNight Thu 18-Oct-12 03:06:47

Send him a bill for the counselling session he just used you for.

Cheeky bastard.

£60 an hour should cover it and set you up for a girlie night out where you might meet someone who isn't a no hoper

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