Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

sex again - it`s been a while!

(16 Posts)
ridiculousmyage Tue 16-Oct-12 19:46:10

Namechanger. I just need a little handholding I think!
It looks like I might be going to have sex again with a new man after a lengthy time alone.

I have 2 questions that I hope you and/ or your lovely fellas will be able to give me an idea about.
#1. Is it really like riding a bike (i`m thinking i`ll be very rusty).

#2. The new man is very experienced, and whilst I haven`t claimed to be, neither have I told him that I am very inexperienced & have only had 2 mediocre lovers.

Will it be blindingly obvious to him? I am very keen, but would be more confident if there was any way of kidding him that I know a bit more about what I am doing.

Any advice really gratefully received

izzyizin Tue 16-Oct-12 19:50:10

1. Yes, it is like riding a bike.

2. If he's 'very experienced' let him do the pedalling while you enjoy the ride.

What's the point of kidding him that you're more experienced than you actually are when he'll be flattered if you ask him to corrupt lead you down the primrose path?

Janbo25 Tue 16-Oct-12 19:52:25

Take things slowly and allow both of you to explore each other with kisses and touch, by the time you have done this you will both just be enjoying each other and he or you won't judge yourself or the other as you will be enjoying each other too much. Most importantly enjoy smile

onmyhonour Tue 16-Oct-12 19:57:10

keen and happy to pleasure and be pleasure are the best things to be. be open minded and honest, if you haven't done something before (but want to ) then say so, likely he will find this endearing. be confident in the fact that you are there in bed with the man you want to be with and he is there because he wants to be with you, there is nothing sexier than a woman who is confident in herself. it really isn't rocket science if you are having fun he will too guaranteed, if you are worried about coming across like an amateur he will pick up on that vibe.
if you are enjoying something let him know, make lots of noise or just tell him. ask him if there is anything he might like you to do for him (being prepared to do it of course, or saying something like well i haven't done that before maybe we could start off a bit slower. if you are not up for it). go at your pace.
hope any of this help have the most awesome of nights hope it all goes really well.x

ridiculousmyage Tue 16-Oct-12 19:57:31

Thanks izzy.

I`m not going to pretend to be a sex goddess, but neither do I want to just lie back like a lump and let him do all of the work!

I suppose I`m just worried that I`ll look like a fool x

Any other advice would be great (especially from a guys view) x

FlorentinePogen Tue 16-Oct-12 20:07:51

Guys view :-
Remember that a blowjob is really a suckjob.
Don't grip his genitalia as if you are 'knocking down' bread dough.
Assuming he's going to do most of the leading, just relax and go with the flow.
Little bit of alcohol to get things moving along, couple of patchouli candles smile and Brian Eno's 'Music for Airports' in the background.

OK, I'm joking.......grin....it is like riding a bike.

Honest.

onmyhonour Tue 16-Oct-12 20:10:58

see now florentine that is subjective i have known some men who like it very light and some men who like a sumo grip, like really i am thinking this has got to hurt but apparently not. that's the kind of thing you get to know over time though.

ridiculousmyage Tue 16-Oct-12 20:16:44

Haha Florentine, trust a guy to cut straight to the blowjob!

I`m not too bad in that department thankfully, and definitely know not to blow!

It`s the rest I`m wobbly about - so any other tips you`d like to share would be great x

FlorentinePogen Tue 16-Oct-12 20:26:03

onmyhonour, I bow to your age and experience.wink

onmyhonour Tue 16-Oct-12 20:45:40

age, pah I am 31 lol. experience that a whole other ball game.

KnitFastDieWarm Tue 16-Oct-12 23:16:33

Lie back and think of England.

Only kidding :-p

Enthusiasm and a sense of fun is far sexier than any amount of experience - you might feel more relaxed (and therefore more able to, erm, get in the zone :-p) if you let him know that you're not massively experienced. You could do this without making yourself feel daft by casually mentioning that your first shag/ex partner/last shag/whoever was a bit of a lazy lover so you've not had the chance to have as much fun as you'd like. This has the twin benefit of a) not making you feel awkward and b) hopefully ensuring he'll pull out all the stops (ahem;-p) to make sure that you know he's no slacker between the sheets!
Inexperience is nothing to be ashamed of - relax, don't be afraid to ask him what he enjoys, make sure you ask for what you want (very sexy according to a very unscientific straw poll I just conducted involving DP) and have fun!
(and then come back and give us all the gory details...;-p)

KirstyWirsty Wed 17-Oct-12 00:02:53

Hope it goes well .. I am hoping to be following in your footsteps very soon x

ike1 Wed 17-Oct-12 00:57:26

He might be experienced but not intuitive, you might be the latter. x

rhondajean Wed 17-Oct-12 01:15:33

Just ask what he likes!

Do the "is this ok?" grip wise.

Even if you had a thousand lovers, you've never had him and you need to learn what he likes.

And - relax and enjoy!

deliasmithy Wed 17-Oct-12 02:27:06

Ridiculous:

Consider how this man is thinking. Most men will be so incredibly excited to get some sex with someone that they like, combine that with them having a visual feast of lady parts, and you could probably lie back and think of England and get away with it.

If alcohol is your bag, get him and you to enjoy several glasses. Builds the confidence and fades the memories!

If in doubt, and you start to feel like a motionless doll, change positions, touch/stroke him anywhere, move in for kisses, play with his dangly bits, run hands through his hair, etc.

flatbellyfellaInablackcape Wed 17-Oct-12 20:24:43

It's not a competition to perform sexual acrobatics, so just do what feels good for you, enjoy yourself,take it slow.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now