Have been seeing my boyfriend for 8 months. We see each other about 4 nights of the week, kids permitting.
He has never given me any cause for concern regarding his trustworthiness. He is open about looking at his Facebook/email in front of me and is always where he says he will be etc. No change at all in how he behaves towards me and we are getting on fine.
Onto the issue... he works with a woman who I will call Sarah. She is attractive, over 10 years younger than me and single. They don't work in the same office any more but 15 miles apart. However, they talk over email or phone every day as she is in charge of staff rotas and he is in charge of his staff's duties and they're fairly friendly and chatty. So far, so normal? Anyway, he told me the other month that she made it fairly clear she fancied him.. asking if he was single etc. He responded with telling her about me as he wanted to nip any of that stuff in the bud immediately. She made a comment about his girlfriend being lucky, he joked back that I might not say that and that was the end of it. They continue to talk duties over email as well as general chit chat. they're also friends on fb after she requested him.
He has been upfront about the above. When he told me, i had a minor wobble and he was reassuring, said he had no interest in any other woman, that he was happy with what he had and that i was the only one for him. He teased me a bit about it, I laughed too and that should be the end of it.
Unfortunately i cannot shake it off and i have no idea why? Me and him chat on and off all day over an iphone app that allows you to see when the other person was last online. If I see he was last online say, 30 minutes ago, but didn't send me a message I am worried that he was chatting to her. To my knowledge he doesn't talk to her outside of work, ive never known it at all. He also doesn't talk to her on his personal iphone - everything is via work or his work email.... yesterday he was off work very unwell. He was looking at his work emails on his blackberry next to me and one was from her. it just said ' how are you feeling now? ' and I pointed it out and said ' aww, how sweet ' and he just laughed.
So..what to do? I'm feeling jealous and insecure. I also [ to be honest ] have previous for this in other relationships. I am fairly suspicious by nature and to reiterate, he has never caused me any problem re his trustworthiness.
Do I talk to him and sound clingy and needy? And what do i say ? ' I'm jealous and worried because I saw a message on your work mobile which you know and all it said was ' how are you feeling? ' That sounds stupid! But how did she know at 10am he was ill? Did he specifically email her to tell her? God knows!
He has reassured me about this once, only a month or so ago. But i am really stewing here. Am I being an idiot? WWYD?
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Should I talk to him about this or will I look needy?
blazingoreos · 16/10/2012 16:04
"Even though I know you'd never hurt my feelings on purpose, when you tell me other people say they fancy you, it makes me uncomfortable. I know I'm a bit insecure but if you could be more careful, I'd appreciate it"
You'd hate me btw. I regularly answer the phone to colleagues with the words 'Hello gorgeous!!!' 
]
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