I have name-changed for this as I think the details might out me. Will try and keep it succinct, but also want to get the facts down and give as fair an account as possible.
Been with my DH for several years now, and have a toddler DC and a baby on the way. DH is nearly 20 years older than me.
DH recently took a big paycut at work, which has meant I have started back at work part-time to ease the financial pressure. I think a lot of our problems stem from this.
I am finding pregnancy, working and a toddler incredibly hard. It?s so much harder than I could have imagined. I think I?m a very resilient person, but I think this situation has pushed me to breaking point. The problem is, my responsibilities at home haven?t reduced. I still am in charge of shopping, cooking, doing most of the cleaning and washing the clothes. DH does DC bedtime and bath, washing up and irons his own clothes. Also, I am the person DC really wants most of the time, which I am happy with, but obviously that does take time and energy.
I don?t believe DH isn?t pulling his weight because he is lazy, I think it?s because at his age he hasn?t got the energy to. He is overweight as well which doesn?t help. Once he has done DC bedtime, he lies in bed for the rest of the night. He complains of aches, pains and ailments all the time. He almost dropped DC down the stairs the other night as he couldn?t see them, and he can?t see what?s in front of his face, so I think his eyesight is failing as well. He can?t bend don to pick DC up. This, coupled with the fact he is low about his paycut and demotion is making life very difficult. I didn?t realise how much of an old man he would come to be, so soon. Writing it down makes it sound so trivial I suppose, but it is starting to get me down. But he just has no get up and go? But then, I?m not sure all men his age are this ?old?.
I feel like I need a break and some rest. I am starting to wonder what life might have been like had I chosen to spend my life with someone younger. Obviously, I picked my DH for a reason, I loved him massively (I?m concerned this is starting to fade), and we had so much in common, and have the same values. I also used to fancy him something rotten (but I must admit this has changed recently as well).
I?m just so confused at the moment. I wouldn?t usually dream of posting about relationship problems, but I think I need some help picking this apart
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Relationships
Older Husband – have I made a mistake?
olderhusbandprob · 15/10/2012 12:58
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