Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Shit - Think I have just laughed at my boyfriend's wedding proposal!!

(27 Posts)
HellsBellys Sun 14-Oct-12 23:05:34

Basically, boyfriend and I have been planning a holiday for next year. The holiday has now been adjusted to include a short stay in Las Vegas. Tonight he took me out for dinner and whilst discussing this trip - he said "shall we go and get married?"

This caught me completely off guard and I reacted with a nervous laugh and then waffled on about an episode of Friends where Ross and Rachel got married in Vegas with pen on their faces.

I assumed he was joking. But he reacted to my reaction with a nervous laugh and a face I have seen before when he has wanted to say something but couldn't quite say it. I didn't know whether he was being serious or not at this point but being the motormouth that I am - I started rattling on about how tacky vegas weddings are in a "god could you imagine if we did!! how hilarious haha" kinda way ... he then started saying "yeah, suppose it is, but I would probably go for it - you know, whilst up that way"

There was an awkward silence and then a change of subject - but he was really quiet for the rest of the night.

Have I seriously just laughed at a genuine marriage proposal or was he joking??? Now I'm stuck, I can't bring it up again incase he WAS joking but what if he wasn't?? he'll never ask me again! :-(

LivvyPsMum Sun 14-Oct-12 23:07:04

Certainly looks like it!

Doha Sun 14-Oct-12 23:08:13

well would you consider getting married in Vegas if he was serious?

ike1 Sun 14-Oct-12 23:09:29

U could propose to him y'know-if u want...

Ponders Sun 14-Oct-12 23:11:06

yes, you can bring it up again!

tomorrow tell him you assumed he was kidding, which is the only reason you reacted like that...

see what he says

good luck! smile

Glitterkitten24 Sun 14-Oct-12 23:15:52

Yep you'll need to bring it up again, cos if he was serious he probably won't feel inclined to mention it again for the time being!

Just be honest and say you were taken by surprise and didn't think he was serious, im sure if your relationship is serious enough for him to be proposing marriage, he knows you well enough that he won't be offended?

Good luck! And report back!

ImperialBlether Sun 14-Oct-12 23:15:55

Say that you had a dream that you'd been a complete idiot and btw did he fancy a trip to Vegas?

ProphetOfDoom Sun 14-Oct-12 23:18:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ProphetOfDoom Sun 14-Oct-12 23:19:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

queenofthepirates Sun 14-Oct-12 23:28:29

Don't let him wait the night! Find him and say yes! (assuming you do).
Then post some photos of the do so we can congratulate you.

HellsBellys Sun 14-Oct-12 23:32:21

Shit I feel guilty but I still can't work out whether he was joking or not. We've not been together long and it seemed so out of the blue - but then he has been really affectionate lately, this past week or so he's seemed to have stepped up the affection and he took me out on a sunday night which is very unusual, we never go out on Sundays. See, I'd assume he was joking but it was his face afterwards - I've seen that face before. Same kind of situation, we were having a meal and he said something - I replied and it turned out I'd put my foot in it somewhat and he wanted to tell me but couldn't - he pulled that face then! the exact same expression.

I don't feel I can bring it up incase he was joking. How would I even bring that up now - I want to do it in a way that broaches the subject without directly referring to it incase he bursts out laughing and says "what??? course I was joking!!!"

akaemmafrost Sun 14-Oct-12 23:34:38

Do you WANT to marry him?

HellsBellys Sun 14-Oct-12 23:34:40

We don't live together but have been talking about buying a house together after Christmas. I've text him a couple of times since I got in tonight and he's replied but with no kisses - bit unusual.

HellsBellys Sun 14-Oct-12 23:36:04

akaemmafrost - my heart says yes, I'd marry him tomorrow but my head says "you don't know him well enough, slow down!".

If he was serious, I'd perhaps suggest we see how things are between us next year rather than committing to engagement now.

SoSweetAndSoCold Sun 14-Oct-12 23:39:33

I think you need to be able to communicate more effectively with each other before you would even consider getting married.

Sorry if that sounds harsh, but this all sounds a bit immature.

Then again, I am divorced, what the hell do I know, being able to communicate maturely didn't do my marriage any favours. Ah fuck it, get over to Vegas and good luck to you!

doinmummy Sun 14-Oct-12 23:40:29

Give him a ring tonight and sort it out.

spondulix Mon 15-Oct-12 00:04:02

What SoSweet said. It doesn't sound like you're great communicators - you're going by what his face looked like and whether he put kisses in his text. Talk to him!

suburbophobe Mon 15-Oct-12 00:13:39

The bottom line is tho, do you WANT to marry him and spend the rest of your life with him, which is what marriage is.

If you just want a holiday in Vegas, great, enjoy it! Don't rush into marriage anyway (ask me about "marry in haste, repent at leasure" grin), maybe you want the white wedding in the village church, so you need to discuss all options, including marriage at all....

Me, if I got married again and he'd have to be very old and very rich LOL I'd definately go for a Caribbean Island grin

izzyizin Mon 15-Oct-12 00:36:29

You haven't known him long but you're talking about buying a house together after Christmas? shock

If you don't get sound legal advice before making any such purchase, you may find it'll work out cheaper to take a trip up the aisle before you make a trip to an estate agent.

Alibabaandthe40nappies Mon 15-Oct-12 00:38:49

Honestly? You sound a pair of babies.

Do not buy a house together.

suburbophobe Mon 15-Oct-12 00:57:12

I'd perhaps suggest we see how things are between us next year rather than committing to engagement now.

always follow your intuition

CogitoErgoSometimes Mon 15-Oct-12 10:50:07

Whether it was genuine or not and whether you want to marry him or not, if you think a Vegas wedding would be horrible, you're quite entitled to say so.

qumquat Mon 15-Oct-12 18:32:10

If you can't talk to him about marriage, you definitely shouldn't be marrying him any time soon. Tell him exactly what you've told us. So what if he was joking, if you are considering buying a house together it's essential you discuss your attitudes to marriage beforehand.

panicnotanymore Mon 15-Oct-12 19:41:52

I think he was testing the water. Nearly ever bloke I know seems to have done this (H included). A sort of pre-proposal just to check that if they do propose properly they won't get a flat refusal.

If you are after a proper proposal I suspect you'll have to wait a while now!

However, you do sound as if you need to get to know each other a lot better before you buy a house together or get married. Both are commitments that aren't fun to disentangle should things go wrong.

needsomeperspective Tue 16-Oct-12 03:45:47

So did you talk to him?

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: