Will try to summarise. I loved my first husband who died when I was 32 - we had not been able to have children. i already knew man from work who eventually asked me out 18 months after I was widowed. I enjoyed having someone to be with but didn't feel we had a future - then I got pregnant. In a nutshell I decided to make a go of things. Had the baby, fell pregnant again 2 years later, married current DH then had third DC.
Always said to DH that I felt unable to love him but he said he had enough love for us both. TBH I just thought I would get on with it - I had my kids that I had longed for, a secure home and a dependable DH - just no spark for me.
But all the time there was so much missing for me. We hit some low times and communication went downhill (DH never good at this anyway). I made efforts to address problems but DH found it easier to sweep them under the carpet. In the end I stopped trying and the brick walk of unresolved issues got higher and higher between us.
So nearly 12 years later I have been attracted to someone else. We recognised our strong mutual attraction but put it aside as we knew we should address what problems we had in our existing relationships rather than start an affair. It sounds like the best thing to do, but it hasn't worked out that way.
My DH knows I have been attracted to someone else and we have talked in full about all our issues as well as seeing a counsellor together. Trouble is, DH is desperate to stay together but I can't see a future for us. For three months we have gone round in circles and DH is under such stress as I hold all the cards. He tries all sorts to make things better but for me it's all too late. I know that if I'm going to be in a relationship I want to be in love. I don't want this one sided relationship anymore.
How do I sort this out? There's so much more to this story but don't want to go on even more. Has anyone been through anything similar?
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Relationships
DH loves me but I don't love him and want to separate. Anyone been through this?
Iconfess · 14/10/2012 21:30
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