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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Need your expert advice please.

(6 Posts)
Shybairns Sun 14-Oct-12 20:08:03

I have a rather intimate sort of problem.

Untill 5 months ago I'd never had an orgasm. I first discovered I could with a vibrator.

Now I've just gone to bed with a new man and found I couldn't be stimulated by finger or toungue. I think I am conditioned to the vibrator. Was most disappointing and sort of embarrassing.

Could this be possible and if so how do I get past it?

wannabedomesticgoddess Sun 14-Oct-12 20:15:53

Could you try using the vibrator but dont let yourself orgasm a few times. Then when you are with him you will be extra sensitive? Then gradually reduce the vibrator?

Im no expert. Thats probably shit advice. Sorry.

CogitoErgoSometimes Sun 14-Oct-12 20:19:18

It's easier/quicker to orgasm with a vibrator because they're specifically designed for one straightforward plastic PIV job. With a new lover, unless you're pretty lucky, you're going to have to experiment a little to get the same sensation other ways.... all part of the fun. If he still doesn't do it for you, keep the vibrator but try a different lover smile

robotsatemywashing Sun 14-Oct-12 20:48:48

My first orgasm was with a boyfriend fingering me, I had no idea how he'd done it. We split up shortly after. Then I made myself come with a shower head, it was the only way I could come for ages. I kind of had to teach myself other ways and it took a while.

The best thing in my experience is just to enjoy the sensations and don't put any pressure on yourself to achieve the "jackpot", it can be harder with a new partner to fully let yourself go too.

You could have a go by yourself with your vibrator turned off, so using it more like a dildo, to get used other sensations, maybe.

Shybairns Mon 15-Oct-12 18:21:07

Thanks ladies. Only felt like a whole woman the first time after I achieved it with the vibrator. Am loathed to give it up.

Will hope new man and I can figure me out.

CogitoErgoSometimes Mon 15-Oct-12 18:34:59

I hope so too... but if you don't figure it out and it's not working for you with him, don't be frightened to move onto someone new. I've had relationships with all kinds of men in the past. No matter how much you connect with someone or think you love them for their personality, crap sex will kill it stone dead in the end.

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