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calls mum every day

(13 Posts)
leon1234 Sun 14-Oct-12 15:03:40

hi it's about my dh, we been married 14 years and every single day dh call mum and speaks for 30min to sometimes 2 hours. he is more close to his mum and sis than me. any decisions must be discussed with her,although she lives in a different continent my dh has to talk to her everyday discussing every single details in our lives. we argue about this but I patch up each time. this time I am calling quits. am I over reacting?

MaureenCognito Sun 14-Oct-12 15:05:28


Felicitywascold Sun 14-Oct-12 15:07:52


IslaValargeone Sun 14-Oct-12 15:10:30

It's one thing being nice to your mum, but 2 hours a day on the phone and discussing the details of your life! I'm amazed you have tolerated it for this long tbh.

CogitoErgoSometimes Sun 14-Oct-12 15:10:51

No. You're entitled to some privacy in your life and to make your own decisions as a couple, not to have it chewed over by others in nightly bulletins. Nice that he's close to his mum. Totally unacceptable to treat your life as her business. Disturbingly 'Psycho' to keep that going for 2 hours a night for 14 years....

DameFannyGallopsAtaGhost Sun 14-Oct-12 15:12:15

He rates the opinion of someone in a different generation and a different continent over yours for day to day matters?

No, you're not over-reacting.

fertilityFTW Sun 14-Oct-12 15:14:34

Is your DH from a different culture OP?

CogitoErgoSometimes Sun 14-Oct-12 15:15:42

I talk to my DM for 59 minutes at a time (means I get it free with my call package.. skinflint...) about three or four times a week. I share quite a lot of news with her but NO WAY would I be running all my decisions past her or giving her chapter and verse on all the ins and outs of everything we do.

Have you asked him why he doesn't just pack up, go home to mama and have done with the whole grisly business of trying to be an independent grown-up....?

Sephy Sun 14-Oct-12 15:44:44

Definitely not overreacting. you're his wife, you should be the person he's closest to, you're his primary family now, not his mum, not his sister...
Does he realise why it upsets you? Just wondered in case he think you're just unhappy that he's close to his family / spending money on foreign calls etc, when it's presumably more about his bad priorities?

Convert Sun 14-Oct-12 15:50:08

My Dh speaks to his mom every day. I don't think it's unreasonable but then you said for up to two hours at a time?! That is a bit OTT. DHs calls are a perfunctionary we're fine, your fine, when are we seeing you etc.

RobynRidingHood Sun 14-Oct-12 16:03:16

When we had parents both of us called them every day. I would say 3/5 days we called in for coffee and a chat after work and had them for Sunday lunch every week.

More a case of checking they were ok than any life changing decisions to be run past hem.

The respect with which a man treats his mother, is the respect he will give you.

CogitoErgoSometimes Sun 14-Oct-12 16:30:10

Respect? Are you saying RobynRidingHood that because he's so attached to his mother this should be seen by the OP as a good thing... hmm Or are you saying that because he's showing the OP such little respect, he can't have much for his mother either?

solvendie Sun 14-Oct-12 19:19:47

I talk to my mum on the phone for an hour every day. However, I do not and would not discuss Every 'single detail of our lives'. it's companionship and support for both me and DM. it is not to check things through with her before doing them with my own family.

I would be concerned only if he insisted on running all decisions through her or if he would only do things his mother would 'approve' of. But they may just be keeping each other company?

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