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What to do?

(6 Posts)
coldstill Sun 14-Oct-12 14:33:12

I live fairly close to my mother and step-father, and yesterday they babysat for us. They rang us when we were on the way back and asked us to pick up takeaway so we were longer getting back than we had arranged. When I got to their house, I found my ds (age 8) crying in my mum's arms and when I asked what was wrong, she said "you've been too long".

I was a bit cheesed off by this answer, as we would have been on time if we hadn't stopped to get the takeaway they'd asked for! Also I felt really guilty thinking she meant that my ds had been missing us (although it surprised me cos he doesn't usually mind a few hours at his gran's once in a while). But what she actually meant was that SD hadn't been coping with the dc, I guess, cos the story came out a bit that Step-dad was having a stresshead and diabetic episode: ds had been jumping on the sofa, hadn't stopped fast enough for SD and he had been shouted at and put on the floor. Which sounded fair enough, really.

Got home later, and ds said actually SD had smacked him and called him a big baby when he cried. (I don't agree with smacking and everyone in the family knows that.)

I am quite upset about it. It's my mum lying about what happened as much as the smack. They are/were due to babysit again, this time overnight (in a month or so) and I think I shouldn't let them. Or maybe I'm overreacting.

CogitoErgoSometimes Sun 14-Oct-12 14:39:44

If everyone in the family knows you don't condone smacking then you're not being unreasonable. Obviously, they don't baby-sit again.

freemanbatch Sun 14-Oct-12 15:03:20

my dad smacked my daughter a few weeks ago, I do not smack my children and everyone knows that it is not on the list of available discipline techniques. He was so upset that he'd done it and apologised a lot about it and we moved on from it. Had he not told me he'd done it and I'd found out some other way I certainly would not have been leaving her with him again.

People make mistakes but the lying to cover it up is not ok.

CogitoErgoSometimes Sun 14-Oct-12 15:05:23

"Step-dad was having a stresshead and diabetic episode:"

This is the reason he doesn't babysit again btw. Not the smacking per se, but the fact that he doesn't appear to be in full command of his faculties. I wouldn't leave someone prone to 'stresshead and diabetic episodes' in charge of the cat...

AttilaTheMeerkat Sun 14-Oct-12 15:17:48


Do not ever let such people ever babysit for you again. They have both shown that they are not to be trusted. You can never leave your child alone with them again.

Bet you as well neither of them have apologised to you or for that matter your son for their abbhorant behaviours. They completely trampled over a boundary that you yourself set i.e no smacking.

re this comment:-
"Step-dad was having a stresshead and diabetic episode"
Yet another good reason not to make him a sitter. I would not leave him in charge of a goldfish to be honest, let alone your son.

coldstill Sun 14-Oct-12 17:34:57

I haven't had the chance to confront them about it. There would have been no point last night as SD was still peculiar and they've gone away on holiday today. I guess my mum is hoping ds would have forgotten about it or wouldn't have said. Fuck.

I feel really stupid. I thought it would be alright as SD doesn't babysit them alone. I thought she would put the dc first.

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