I don't think she is "well". I suffer from depression and anxiety myself so the flags are flying high.
Brief backstory - i dont want to drip feed by neitehr do i want to out myself: My mother thinks her sister has damaged something of hers, has spent the last two weeks ranting about it, trying to "fix" it and really, making it worse. They have a volatile relationship to say the least, her sister is not in the country - oh she is 84, my mother 76. Realistically, i honestly don't think the sister has done this but to complicate things there is history so its not completely random accusation iyswim. So every day i have had phone calls where my mother has said vile things about her sister, and plotting her "revenge". I cannot disagree with my mother because she doesn't have anyone else to keep an eye out for her and if i disagree i am "against her" and she wont see or speak to me. So i just say yes and know in the right places and try not to say anything inflammatory.
One of her "plans" was to borrow money from teh sister and then refuse to pay it back as it will cover the damage done to her stuff.
She has only gone and done it :( But worse, her sister has offered to give her the money and will transfer a not inconsiderable amount of money into my mums account. The only saving grace is that my mum doesn't know what her bank account number is and i have refused to tell her how to find it on her bank statement. I have told her i don't want to be involved (obviously) I haven't heard from mum since this phone call. I hope she couldnt find it, im 80% confident she wont be able to. But also i am now expecting my aunt to phone me and it will put me in a position where i will either have to tell a bare faced lie or let the cat out of the bag.
I'm in such a bind - i dont know what to do.
Totally irrelevant - the aunt has so much money she doesn't know what to do with it, so whilst it is a fair amount of money to me, to her, is not really THATmuch, it will be of no detriment for her to give it to her sister. BUT that is really no excuse is it? It is however the only thing that makes me think just let it go - because this will mean that a) my mother will "get her own back" and hopefully be able to move on, and b) her sister will be devestated by the accusation and the fact that my mother is doing this to her.
I am at a loss at how to handle this, i have told my mum i will not lie to my aunt and i wouldnt help her get the bank account number (but she may just as easy take herself of to the bank on monday to find this out!). I feel that i can't let her do this but if i take any positive steps to stop her she will feel betrayed and cut contact.
any ideas?
Im starting to be concerned for her mental health too, its not dementia (ive been trhough that with my dad) but shes depressed isn't she?
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My mother is doing something very wrong and i don't know how to handle it
9 replies
zombieplanmum · 13/10/2012 14:42
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