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mumsnet widower poison

(135 Posts)
jm8997 Thu 11-Oct-12 00:19:42

I have no one else to talk to about my feelings. My wife has family and friends, but she also appears to spend a lot of time on mumsnet. I feel suicidal, lonely and always blamed for the bad things that happen in life. Some of the threads on this website are so intensely vitriolic and polarised that I believe my wife is being destroyed from the beautiful kind loving person I married. Her addiction to mumsnet is really scaring me, yet I fear I cannot raise it with her as she would get angry with me. Help?

LottieJenkins Thu 11-Oct-12 14:33:06

I may be over-reacting but as a widower i am offend by the thread title!!!

ThingsThatGoBumpInTheNight Thu 11-Oct-12 14:40:06

MouMou a lot of people have, what are they called.. iphones.. with the app for MN installed hmm

ThingsThatGoBumpInTheNight Thu 11-Oct-12 14:40:34

Meaning they don't have to physically be in front of a pc all day

PedanticPanda Thu 11-Oct-12 15:09:18

Why do people post 'reported' on a thread. Reporting something you think is very offensive or suspicious I get, but why the need to smugly state it on the thread?

ThingsThatGoBumpInTheNight Thu 11-Oct-12 15:22:12

Now you're just being pedantic grin

ThingsThatGoBumpInTheNight Thu 11-Oct-12 15:23:03

Done it myself tbh its like the feeling you get from saying 'I'm TELLING mooooooom'

solidgoldbrass Thu 11-Oct-12 15:23:55

Knobbers like this never do actually manage to kill themselves. Unfortunately.

LineRunner Thu 11-Oct-12 15:24:57

I suppose to respond to people saying, Well why don't you just report it, then? And to act as a heads-up to others.

PedanticPanda Thu 11-Oct-12 15:29:22

But if the poster is real then they may get scared away with all the 'reported' comments when they need help. If you're reporting it and mnhq looks and decides its not real then they'd usually post and then delete the thread anyway, but you could stop someone giving out valuable advice, or someone else benefiting from it. Even if it's a troll on a thread, there's always a chance that someone else could be reading the thread and benefit from the positive advice that's been given, even if it isn't the OP.

LineRunner Thu 11-Oct-12 15:33:17

I think on this particular thread it was relevant to be clear that MNHQ was aware of the claim being made on the thread. But I do take your point that in the vast majority of cases reporting should be done behind the scenes.

ThingsThatGoBumpInTheNight Thu 11-Oct-12 15:44:09

MNHQ is sensible about this stuff.. I know one of my threads got reported left right and centre and its still intact <phew after it took forever to type out>

PedanticPanda Thu 11-Oct-12 15:46:28

things, but if posters were posting 'reported' all over your thread it might have discouraged others to post up valuable advice, or discourage other from starting their own thread about similar incase they receive the same treatment.

Littleblue Thu 11-Oct-12 15:49:46

People were also posting that we felt he was clearly disingenuous and manipulative... what's the alternative ??, humour trolls and get the honesty that is mumsnet tainted by whackjobs? thats not going to encourage anyone in need to bare their soul either... is it?

PedanticPanda Thu 11-Oct-12 15:55:51

You're always going to get trolls whether you announce you're reporting it or not, but what if someone really was at the end of their tether and thought about ending it, they came on and seen 'reported' everywhere and didn't ask for help incase they were accused of making it up? If it was a choice between giving someone advice and help when they needed it but risking a troll rubbing their hands together pleased they were convincing people, and unnecessarily posting 'reporting' on a thread running the risk of preventing someone from speaking out just so I can prove to a troll that I didn't believe them, I know what one I'd chose.

ScreamingManAndGoryOn Thu 11-Oct-12 15:58:30

Well, Pedantic Panda, you could always report the comments saying "I've reported" and ask for them to be deleted if you like.

Littleblue Thu 11-Oct-12 16:01:17

PP , he got the reaction he did for many reasons , not least of which was his hijack and abuse on my thread , and his choice to stalk relationship threads instead of going over to mental health as mnhq rapidly suggested... go look at the mental health boards , see how many people are asking for support , and clearly getting it with no hint of suspicion as to their motives or agenda... this was an isolated case (hopefully)

JustinBoobie Thu 11-Oct-12 16:03:07

well, lets just hope that we don't hear from the 'wife' soon then shall we?

MN can be ARSE sometimes.

PedanticPanda Thu 11-Oct-12 16:04:47

This isn't the only time I've read 'reported' on a thread confused, it gets posted quite a lot, it certainly isn't an isolated case.

Littleblue Thu 11-Oct-12 16:14:33

Thats not what I meant... but never mind..

solidgoldbrass Thu 11-Oct-12 16:19:28

Look, when it's obvious that the poster in question is a manipulative, abusive whanger then it's fine for people to point this out and kick his MRA-loving head in.

Littleblue Thu 11-Oct-12 16:23:26

I do love you SGB grin

PedanticPanda Thu 11-Oct-12 16:28:29

But what about the other times when it's not obvious they are a 'manipulative, abusive whanger', but people still announce they are reporting as they think it might be a troll?

Littleblue Thu 11-Oct-12 16:35:41

"What if what if"... goodness !! rarely do post get visibly reported unless another poster feels it timely to flag up publically that they feel (with good reason) that someone needs to wind their bloody neck in !!

missymoomoomee Thu 11-Oct-12 16:39:00

Pedantic Did you read the posts he wrote that were deleted. They were absolutely vile and directed at Little he wasn't asking for help he was being really really nasty

Littleblue Thu 11-Oct-12 16:50:06

... and it didn't achieve its desired effect... I didn't give a rats ass grin

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