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He's obsessed with sex...

(417 Posts)
Littleblue Wed 10-Oct-12 11:27:22

We have been dating six months , and they have largely been the happiest ever for me , except for his obsession with sex.... he takes it as rejection if I turn him down , and mostly manages to get over it.... but I turned him down last night , I was tired and stressed and not in the mood , (and his expectation is a huge turn off anyway)We were snuggled up , and he kept groping me which I was fending off but gently , to me it should be clear by then?! so he turns my face to his and insists on proper tongue snogging , which I had been evading... I HATE snogging if i'm not in the mood for sex.. I'm not frigid , when were both in the right mood the sex is incredible....he seems to think that because thats the case , we should ALWAYS be at it... so pissed off ,he turned his back on me last night, he's clearly sulking today...angry

Littleblue Sat 27-Oct-12 17:08:30

Seems to be alot of it about angry

Apty Sat 27-Oct-12 21:30:15

Hi littleblue, came back to see how you were getting on. It takes time I guess, stay strong x

Shaky Sat 27-Oct-12 23:05:43

Hi littleblue

I was thinking about you today and wondering how you are.

Please ignore the knobhead that has been pm you, he's not worth it.

You are doing well and you are ALLOWED to have bad, feeling like shit days. Tis all part of the healing process. It takes time and you can't rush it. You can't make a scab on your knee heal quicker because you WANT it to, it heals in its own time, just like your mind.

You have been really brave and strong, please just keep reminding yourself that. Take care x

Oh and don't forget to change your clocks tonight wink

Littleblue Sat 27-Oct-12 23:40:54

Hi apty been thinking about you too.... smile and you shaky and thanks , I'm still reeling tbh , every relationship I have ever had thats blown up in my face , I have been braced for... I had trust in this one , because of so many things , how we gelled together..etc , the sexpestery stuff was a very minor part until he blew the lid off.... I have to find a way to stop trying to understand , after all , Ted Bundys nearest and dearest must have struggled with his reality , I have been talking to new people , workwise , opening new doors , and reminding myself what alot of diverse and doggedly supportive friends I have , both online , and rl.... my reality is not based on a porn script....just because I'm a red blooded woman , doesnt make me a farm animal to rut..... I surrendered so much trust in this man , madness it might well seem.... but we were intensely close on every level... it hurts like fuck , and that just keeps giving.... but that doesnt mean I will go back , it just closes the door ever tighter....

Littleblue Sat 27-Oct-12 23:41:50

When I left dv exe... I was relieved , this one , jesus..... huge mindfuck

Littleblue Sun 28-Oct-12 09:44:42

and again , dreamt about it... I've never come out of anything needing therapy so badly before... sighs

Littleblue Fri 16-Nov-12 20:25:45

Old thread...sorry , just remembered he answered the door on date three wearing only his dressing gown " Didn't see the point in putting clothes on" ... little gems like this keep coming back to me... bit like reflux really grin

Shaky Fri 16-Nov-12 20:33:32

Oh littleblue you are well rid of him.
You are doing brilliantly,
Onwards and upwards, chin up x

Littleblue Fri 16-Nov-12 20:36:34

I know... I'm getting there , s'funny , after all the shit in my life , this one cut the deepest... I'm out this weekend , I got strongarmed by worried friends into going to a party a couple of weeks ago... am suddenly invited to alot of new events ongoing from that... I really shouldnt be smug that I know that will filter back to him via mutual friends should I....? wink xx

Shaky Fri 16-Nov-12 21:40:42

Good for you! Enjoy and surround yourself with people who really do care about you. I bet there are loads that you haven't seen for ages because the twunt isolated you and made you think the world revolved around him.

I suspect that this hurts more because you thought he was better than the other relationships you have had before....

Littleblue Fri 16-Nov-12 21:53:35

Yes , nail on head....Depressions been worst ever and frends have been worrying... I'm lucky to be loved and I've been asked out by a rather lovely man , I hedged as its too soon to date really ,I told him I'm not in a place to date deeper than socially but have said yes... sod it ,you only live once , and oh boy is my red flag warning system primed !!!! smile Thanks Shaky ! xx

Anniegetyourgun Fri 16-Nov-12 23:26:41

No, of course you shouldn't be smug. He's not worth that much headspace. (But what the heck, he owes you a bit of amusement.)

I bet you thought the dressing gown incident was cute at the time. Good old hindsight.

Shaky Fri 16-Nov-12 23:37:45

I'm glad you have the red flag warnings imprinted in your brain.

I would say be very, very careful. You are still vunerable right now and only just out of a relationship.

I would actually advise that you stay away from dating for a while and concentrate on finding out who you really are again. I would really hate for you to be swept off your feet and end up in the same situation in 12 months time.
Be friends, have fun etc but learn to be yourself again. You do not need a man in your life to make you a whole person, you can do that on your own. Xx

Littleblue Sat 17-Nov-12 00:11:03

I thought the dressing gown incident was kinda fact... and its bad of me to know he will be fucked off if he thinks im bouncing around the edges of our linked social scene and find that amusing...fuck him , he made me ill , grin ... Shaky I'd advise me to stay away from dating too...and its certainly not a case of me latching onto any attachment scenario... I wasn't looking , and suddenly VERY nice genuine man shows alot of interest , and respect , for me..and what I do , we work in the same field you see... and the respects mutual...and hes invited me (shyly) to a couple of social functions/gigs...and he is proving very positive for me in tapping me back into my professional head again... and he's a grownup , not pestering me for a shag , he's more interested in the person..... how fucking refreshing ;) none of this >>>>

Littleblue Sat 17-Nov-12 00:12:41

I'm not looking for another headfuck.... no worries smile xx

Shaky Sat 17-Nov-12 00:46:38

Yet I am very glad to see your eyes are wide open approach.

I'm so proud of you

Littleblue Sat 17-Nov-12 10:31:30

Thank you ! smile... mwahs !

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