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Help with mother

(12 Posts)
Pugless Tue 09-Oct-12 13:50:27

Things have always been crap between me and her. Shes a drama queen that enjoys attention ans making things alot worae and much more difficult than they have to be. She always makea out like she wants to help ie offers to babysit then moans that shes always got my dcs. Offeres to help when i had pnd but then throws it back in my face any chance she gets. If one of the dcs has earache then she tells people the dcs ears are dropping off (im sure you get the picture).

She was up until recently supervising contact for dcs with ex an his mother but uses this as an oppurtunity to stir a whole load of drama up. Telling ds has been sayingbim nasty to him and such like. I put an end to this and dcs have been picked up from my home.

It was agreed that dcs could go to mothers once a week i would drop off and pick up as i didnt want anything more to do with her (fed up of her put downs and snide comments). But she continued to ring every so often screaming and shouting at me telling how much of a good job ex was doing with dcs and she hopes i lost the dcs to him.

So i havnt taken them round. I then got a phone call from her last night stating she had got legal advice telling me gleefully that she was taking me to court i told her i would drop dcs off monday and fridays for a few hours this wasnt acceptable to her and she cant wait to go to court and drag up a whole lot of dirt on me.

Apologies its so long, not sure what i need now though

CogitoErgoSometimes Tue 09-Oct-12 13:57:31

I'd assume she was bluffing about going to court. However, if she does go the route of legal advice she'll find that grandparents don't have very many rights when it comes to grandchildren. I would keep your children very firmly at home for now, don't pick up the phone and let her fizz and stamp to her heart's content. She'll run out of steam eventually and then you have the luxury of deciding if you want her back in your life and on what terms. Make other arrangements for the ex to see the children.

Pugless Tue 09-Oct-12 14:01:43

I dont want her in my life i am realy at the end my tether with her. Fed up of her bullshit dramas and fake illness's. A family member is realy ill but mother has now decided to be realy ill herself so she dosnt miss out on any attention.

CailinDana Tue 09-Oct-12 14:02:28

Do nothing. Just ignore ignore ignore. Your children should not be around someone like this, it is not safe or healthy for them. No contact is the only way to go.

Pugless Tue 09-Oct-12 14:06:30

Shes a terrible gossip aswell. I have been asked if one of the children is ok from a person in the post office i will yes why they go on to say well your mum was telling us bla bla bla. My dd had bow legs dr's told me one thing she told people dd needed an operation which had never been said by dr.

AttilaTheMeerkat Tue 09-Oct-12 14:08:23


I would seriously reconsider your decision to allow your children to have any contact with your mother. You cannot stand her for good reason and at the very least she is a toxic parent. Such damaged people as well often make for being crap grandparents to boot. Your children will not receive anything positive from having such a relationship with their grandmother; a person as well who despises her daughter i.e you. No contact as of now with her is the safest option for you and your children.

Alternative arrangements as well need to be arranged as of now with regards to your ex (contact centre).

I would also read up on narcissistic personality disorder re your mother because of references to your mother enjoying attention and drama queen stuff.

Ignore all comment re her going to court; they will not give her the time of day. This is all really about power and control.

CogitoErgoSometimes Tue 09-Oct-12 14:08:51

Then the less contact you have the better. If she has no access to you or your children for a while the only think she can gossip about is that you are distant and snooty. Small price to pay.

She sounds bordering on mentally ill rather than just 'annoying'. Has she ever had a mental health assessment?

brass Tue 09-Oct-12 14:09:03

my god what a poisonous woman!

she has no rights to take you to court and the fact that she is threatening to do this shows just how unhinged she is.

Please stop this drama yourself by not involving her in your life anymore. Every time you engage with her YOU are helping to create the drama.


Pugless Tue 09-Oct-12 14:17:01

I think personally she needs mental help.

I only answered the fone las night as the caller id showed up as my dad and i thought it was news about the family member.

I am going to just ignore her and see what happens with regards to court.

Nanny0gg Tue 09-Oct-12 14:31:57

How old are your DCs?

Pugless Wed 10-Oct-12 10:34:28

They are 7 3 and 11months

werewolvesdidit Wed 10-Oct-12 21:52:38

Don't answer the phone to her. Just because you are biologically related does not give her the right to torment you like this. Keep your kids away from her - she will use them against you. There is no way she'll get legal access to your children either - she is bluffing you to cause you stress and misery. SHE IS NOT A MOTHER - SHE IS AN ABUSER! Keep clear of her. I don't have anything to do with my mother as I realised finally (at the age of 41) and the she brings NOTHING good or positive into my life. Good luck.

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