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Two years ago H told me he didnt love me...

(23 Posts)
memorylapse Mon 08-Oct-12 19:48:55

..and two years later he is out of my life and Ive never been happiergrin

Link to the original thread here
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1103288-How-to-recover-from-an-emotional-affair?pg=5
I had 4 children and also a young baby when I discovered his emotional affair with a work colleague..this was after I had "the speech"
Eventually after several months he left but then returned, and started ill treating me, shouting abusive things at me..on one occasion, he dragged me down the hall by my hair after I challenged him about OW..everyday he was going to work and spending illicit lunchbreaks with OW, yelling her he loved her, then coming home and shouting abuse at me.
I posted on here as Frightened to Death and with the help of WA, I moved out in May.
Today..Ive never been happier, everyone tells me Im so much different, more confident, happier..everyone time someone photographs me Im smiling..
Im now enjoying life with me and my dcs, my house is my home and as for H..well the sad git is alone..still leading OW a merry dance, not cxommiting to her and now teling me he made a mistake..tough..I would never want him back and see him for the sad, manipulative, devious lying twunt he really is
I turned 40 in August and life really does begin at 40..Im happy..but two years ago would never have thought I could be..Im the winner..and he is the loser

imperialstateknickers Mon 08-Oct-12 19:50:41

Hurrah!

cookielove Mon 08-Oct-12 19:51:00

smile

CremeEggThief Mon 08-Oct-12 19:54:29

How fantastic! Hurrah for you grin.

NormaStanleyFletcher Mon 08-Oct-12 19:55:03

Well done love.

All the best smile

wellthatsdoneit Mon 08-Oct-12 20:00:21

I bloody love threads like this. So inspirational.

Long may your happiness continue smile

LouMacca Mon 08-Oct-12 20:02:46

Just fab!! Well done OP x

joblot Mon 08-Oct-12 20:04:36

Well impressed. Go you

memorylapse Mon 08-Oct-12 20:46:23

Thank you..I wanted to post this to show that..its not the end if this happens and you can come threough this..what H did to me was cruel beyond all realms..and I am very relieved to be rid of him..the best thing is that even now..he blames me

solittletimeandsomuchtodo Mon 08-Oct-12 20:50:39

smile

NervousAt20 Mon 08-Oct-12 20:52:29

Well done OP grin it's nice to hear the happy ending of a horrible relationship on here

ilovemyteddies Mon 08-Oct-12 20:53:04

Wonderful post, and may your 40's be filled with excitement, happiness,and adventures smile

skyebluesapphire Mon 08-Oct-12 20:53:22

so wonderful to hear this. Well done to you for being so happy.

My STBXH walked out in Feb saying he didnt love me, came back for 6 weeks, walked again, THEN I discovered emotional affair with his mates wife. They insist they are doing nothing wrong, her H is happy with it hmm

My divorce will be Absolute any day now.

Im off to read your thread now

Thanks for sharing your happiness with us xx

ajandjjmum Mon 08-Oct-12 20:59:32

So happy to read this - hope it gives inspiration to others who are in the position you were in two years ago.

smile

DowagersHump Mon 08-Oct-12 21:02:24

Well done you smile

Kaykat Mon 08-Oct-12 21:16:43

Thank you OP it is really helping me to read this kind of thing on MN. I am in the middle of this right now. I have told my cheating H I want a divorce. I told him to leave but we are joint owners so I can't force him. He is emotionally and verbally abusive. I now have help from a WA outreach programme.

It sounds as if you went into a refuge, I'm not sure that's the way to go for me being joint owner of my house and I feel very reluctant to leave my home because of him. Does your H still see your DCs?

reddaisy Mon 08-Oct-12 21:20:58

So pleased for you OP. I hope it gives others in a similar position some hope.

LivvyPsMum Mon 08-Oct-12 21:27:55

That is so lovely to hear. Well done you! x

skyebluesapphire Mon 08-Oct-12 21:35:25

Just read your thread, I had to laugh at the "10 texts a day" to OW.

My STBXH was sending over 100 a day and emailing from a secret email account.

They are just "good friends" and supporting each other emotionally, ie he told her all about our relationship problems (I didnt know we had any) and she gets the emotional support that her H cant give her........ None of them see anything wrong with that level of contact between them....

But your story gives me hope that I will be the happy one ultimately, that at some point STBXH will wake up and realise that the grass isn't greener and then realise exactly what he has thrown away. I would never take him back now as the trust has gone.

I turned 40 in March around the time he walked out, and i am trying to believe that life does indeed begin at 40 :-)

AnyFucker Mon 08-Oct-12 21:50:43

I remember you. Glad to see you are free of the twat, and happy again. You deserve it !

panicnotanymore Mon 08-Oct-12 22:18:13

Good for you. It goes to show how much better life can be without some sad sap draining the life blood out of you day after day. Here's to you and fabulous freedom winegrin

memorylapse Mon 08-Oct-12 23:36:47

Kaykat-no I didnt move into a refuge..it wasnt something I wanted to do..I was helped to find an affordable rented house, we have a lovely house and the DC;s are much happier.

SBS-10 a day was a big deal to a guy who NEVER used his phone before..however there were lots of phone calls as well, some were over an hour long, he had also been messaging her via facebook and later had a secret phone.

Hyperballad Mon 08-Oct-12 23:41:08

Fantastic!! So pleased for you grin

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