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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

In tears, missing him

8 replies

slowlygoingbonkers · 07/10/2012 21:32

He left on Tuesday. I've been 'fine' til now. It was bad towards the end but he was my best friend. He told me today that he still loves me but is relaxed now he is apart. Wish everything could go back to the beginning. I will never love anyone like him or have anyone love me like that again Sad

OP posts:
skyebluesapphire · 07/10/2012 21:46

((hugs)) for you. I know exactly how you feel, I thought that my STBXH was my soulmate, together forever. But he chose to walk out on me and DD. but five months on life is much better.

When he left I sat around crying all the time.

Talk to your RL friends, family if you have anyone nearby. You will get great support on here too.

It is only natural to go through a grieving process for the man you have lost. It will get better but it does take a long time. I'm getting there but not totally there...

izzyizin · 07/10/2012 21:48

I will never love anyone like him or have anyone love me like that again This is true. Next time you'll love more and love deeper and you'll be loved more and deeper in return because the more you love, the more meaning love has.

slowlygoingbonkers · 07/10/2012 21:55

Thank you. Just being able to get it off my chest helps. I'd normally pour my heart out to him and he's not here. Been trying to keep myself busy decorating and stuff but it's at night when kids are in bed and im on my own.

OP posts:
skyebluesapphire · 07/10/2012 22:00

That's why MN is so good, there is always somebody listening of an evening when it gets lonely

jynier · 07/10/2012 23:43

SGB So sorry that this has happened to you; try and take care of yourself (not easy, I know) and the children. Do you have anyone in RL who will help?

Best wishes

Alittlestranger · 08/10/2012 01:31

What Izzyizin said. With time you will realise the absurdity of thinking no one will love you like this man again. He has just walked out, no matter what good qualities he had, what one-of-a-kind features, that isn't a love you want to emulate. It's hard I know. But sometime's it's helpful to remember that if it was so right, he'd still be there. Don't get me wrong, this will be a terrible period and you need to grieve and look after yourself. There will be a void but time will start to fill it.

izzyizin · 08/10/2012 01:48

You can't turn back the clock and do it over; all you can do is go forward deriving pleasure from the good that was in your relationship and tempering it with the bad so that you don't idealise what clearly wasn't perfect otherwise, as 'stranger' has said, you would be still be together.

It hurts but, as the saying has it, 'no pain, no gain'. Use this experience to learn and grow and don't be afraid of loving again.

slowlygoingbonkers · 08/10/2012 06:56

Thank you everyone. I guess I just have to grieve for what was then pick myself up and start again. So hard at the moment but I'll get there.

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