Have had bf for 2.5 years. We have been through an immense amount together. He's wildly younger than me however, and it's pretty incredible that it's lasted this long. I'm extremely in love with him.
My life has been somewhat traumatic during the time we've been together, and has hit another very turbulent period, involving a lot of sickness both with both my kids and another close relative. I'm exhausted and stressed and it's unrelenting as I can't use any childcare at the moment (long story) but am trying to work f/t at the same time.
He has just started a 3 year university course as a mature student and is understandably completely excited about it, as well as being surrounded by many pneumatic, young, and stress free women who also happen to share his obsessions.
When we spoke earlier in the year, I suggested that we should split when he started the course, as I didn't want to cramp his style. And he was adamant that he didn't want to.
However, I'm worried that I'm going to lose him anyway, but in the worst possible way, in that he will gradually lose interest in this highly stressed, time-stretched, frankly shattered older woman when he realises that he's surrounded by other younger shinier women who would have more time and energy for him, and who aren't constantly downtrodden by caring - our relationship always had a timelimit as I don't want any more kids, and he desperately wants some of his own, despite loving mine. I'm thinking about my kids here - at least if I butt out of the relationship now I won't be a total trainwreck as I will have some control over it - but the thought of gradually seeing his interest fade, as I am terrified it will, is unbearable, as is the thought of changing into someone needy who requests reassurance all the time.
I'm aware that I'm probably mildly depressed as a result of exhaustion and stress and that I could just be pushing him away, but the facts are the facts - I'm 15 years older than him - and I don't know if I should just count myself lucky to have had this joyous, hilarious relationship at a time when I really needed it and call it quits before I get really hurt.
Thoughts?
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Relationships
Do I need to let him go? Apols - it was meant to be pithy but....
21 replies
Raymondo · 07/10/2012 21:10
OP posts:
WereTricksPotter ·
08/10/2012 09:53
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